


Daughter Enshrined

by Firetribe



Category: Black Dagger Brotherhood - J. R. Ward
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Family, Romance, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Sexual Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:31:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firetribe/pseuds/Firetribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fanfiction of 2nd generation BDB-vampires. Last weeks out in the sun, having fun. Shariel, daughter of Phury was supposed to have all that. Enjoying the human day time world before her transition. She got that topped with something that she didn't bargain for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming home

**Author's Note:**

> World of Black Dagger Brotherhood and its rules, Brothers and their shellans all belong to J.R.Ward. 
> 
> This is my second fanfic ever and English isn't my native language, so please be patient.

Shariel reached for her bag on the conveyer belt. Taking her suitcase, she headed for the exit. All the vodkas she downed on the plane weren't enough to calm her down. Right now she needed the numbing effect of alcohol to quiet down her thoughts, but the booze seemed to have the opposite effect.  She felt her stomach turn upside down, she squeezed the handle of her suitcase and forced the alcohol to stay inside. Throwing up in the arrival hall of La Guardia was no alternative. She slumped down on row of chairs and closed her eyes. She was startled when she heard a familiar clearing of a throat.  "Miss Shariel, may I take your bag?". Shariel smiled at Fritz. The old doggen took her bag and headed for the doors. Fritz had a concerned look when he watched the young female behind him but resumed walking, when he noticed that Shariel was able to follow him without falling down. After surviving the revolving door, Shariel stumbled on the backseat of Mercedes and Fritz started the car. Through the vodka fumes, she thought back on the summer.

After long negotiations Phury and Cormia had given their daughter permission to travel to the west coast. Two weeks of vacation on her own. Of course there had been boundary conditions, she had to regularly visit Saxton's aunt and phone home every night. She had trained with her uncles and Brotherhood trainees since she was fifteen, so that took care of the safety issue. And she had strict midnight curfew. It was supposed to be all about enjoying the sea, summer and of all things, the sun. For the last time of her life, because her transition was near. How the hell all that had turned into big mess, a tight knot in her stomach? Shariel had no desire to come back home, but she had to if she wanted to survive. But she wasn't sure anymore, if she did anymore. Maybe after all, she wanted to die, to drift away, to disappear. _If only I could remember everything...._

Shariel watched the traffic until Fritz took a turn to a familiar road. V's mhis enclosed them and once again Shariel closed her eyes. She could have gone home to Great Camp, but she had things to care of first. And that required a stop by the Brotherhood mansion. For a week now that she had spent in different hotel rooms, she had thought of nothing else than her future plans. And now was the time to carry out those plans.

The car slowed down in intervals between the gates on the way up and Shariel didn't open her eyes until Fritz parked the car and opened the door for her. "Thank you, Fritz", Shariel followed the old man carrying her suitcase. With booze-blurry eyes Shariel viewed the mansion, beautiful in the August sun. The steel shutters on the windows reflected the sun making her squint her eyes. There was no joy in returning home, all she wanted to do was run away. She mustered all her willpower and entered the grand foyer after Fritz.  Standing there, among the bright colors and glorious columns, she felt like a stain. Not enough bleach in the world to wash that off.  The mansion was quiet, it was noon and everyone was sleeping. "Miss, if you don't mind, I will take your luggage upstairs. I have prepared a room next to your brother's for you to stay in." Shariel nodded and walked into billiards room, straight to the bar and grabbed the nearest vodka bottle.

"As your big brother, I'm not sure I approve that", said deep male voice behind her back. Shariel turned around and found herself staring at bright yellow eyes. Big arms drew her into tight hug and welcomed her home. Her big brother's hug made her flinch  and it didn't go unnoticed by Ahgony.  "Something wrong, sis?", he asked. Shariel didn't answer and Ahgony took few steps back to really look at his kid sister. His observant eyes looked at her: "This isn't your first drink today?"

Shariel sighed "No." There was no point in lying. All vampires were very perceptive and sensed every little detail. And anyway, even a idiot would have noticed her struggle to stand straight and truth was written all over her bloodshot eyes. "You can tell me later. For now it's best to leave the booze and catch some sleep." Ahgony took the bottle from Shariel's hands and gently guided her towards the stairs. "Mahmen and father have been worrying about you and it won't lessen their concern if they see you like this." Obediently Shariel followed her brother and with his help staggered into her room. Ahgony helped her on the bed, took off her shoes and kissed her on the forehead. "Sleep well sister o'mine. I'll see you on the first meal." Shariel closed her eyes and suddenly she felt so tired as she passed out.

Ahgony closed the door. He had a feeling that his sister was keeping something from him. But what it was, he had no idea. Only thing he knew, was that drinking like this wasn't Shariel. Sure she could drink, a lot, when she was partying with the others.  He smiled as he recalled the numerous times how  after a wild night out he had to carry Shariel from the car when she was too drunk to walk. So he wasn't as much worried that she was drunk as he was about the fact that Shariel was drunk at day time and that she had been binge drinking by herself.

*  *  *  *  *

 Phury opened his eyes. He had hardly slept, he was anxious to see his little girl. It had been only two weeks, but still he couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was wrong. On the last week Shariel's phone calls were short and somehow forced. And that was what bugged him, he had always had a very good bond with his daughter.  He felt Cormia stir from sleep behind him . Her hands lazily roamed on his body as she drew him into embrace. "You are so tense my love. I know you worry, but she'd have told us if something was wrong." "I know you're right," Phury said, turning around and kissing his mate. "But I can't help it. Not until I see her myself."

 *  *  *  *  *

Shariel woke up, the red numbers blinking on the clock showed that it was 9 pm. Her mouth was dry, tongue was stuck on her teeth and her stomach was churning. Carefully she sat up, she felt like a fucking hammer was pounding on her skull. She swallowed couple times and then plunged into bathroom. She barely had time to lift the toilet lid before her stomach gave into nausea and the porcelain god received everything her alcohol dehydrated body had to give. Her body convulsed and she had to lean on wall to keep from falling. Bile was bitter in her throat and and her stomach was still churning and making her gag although there was nothing more to vomit.

Shariel gasped several times and pushed herself upright to sit against the cool tiles. When she was absolutely sure that she wouldn't puke, she stood up and looked herself on the mirror. _Shit shit..._ the emerald green eyes emphasized her bloodshot tint in them and her skin was pale and damp. Thank god the bruising had already faded. Her strawberry blond hair was shaggy. There was no going to the first meal looking like this. Shariel cursed again, removed her clothes and stepped into shower. After showering Shariel wrapped a thick towel around her and rummaged her luggage. She chose bootcut jeans and a plain white t-shirt. Nothing fancy, never again. For no one.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Shariel? May I come in?" Hearing Cormia's voice woke an overwhelming desire to run to her mother's safety. She opened the door and ended up in her mother's arms. "Lovely daughter o'mine," she whispered and held her tighter. Shariel couldn't help the tears when she leaned on Cormia's shoulder, she truly had missed her mother. After what seemed forever, Shariel lifted her head and Cormia wiped her tears. "We've also missed you", Cormia said and lifted Shariel's chin. She looked straight into her daughter's eyes, "I can see now, that you're no more a little girl but a young female. Oh, my youngest, your transition is near. I'm so proud of you! You are our gem." Shariel couldn't look at her mother. Yes, she knew that if your mother was a Chosen  and father was a member of Black Dagger Brotherhood and Primale... well, in the eyes of the aristocrat she was a precious gem and in the old days she'd probably become a Chosen herself. But who the fucked cared of glymera's opinion, she knew herself that she didn't belong anymore. She hugged her mother again.

Phury strode up the stairs. "Leelan, did you find her?" He heard Cormia answer and headed to her. He couldn't explain it, but he just wanted to hold his daughter. He hoped that all that he was feeling was worry over her little girl growing up. He stopped at the door and watched, how tightly Cormia embraced their daughter. He could smell Shariel's tears. "Nalla..." Shariel heard the deep and now little hoarse voice and then felt, how Phury's big arms gathered both her and her mother into his embrace.  "Welcome home, my daughter", Phury said. Shariel let go of her mother and let her father squeeze her into hug, just like he did when she was a little girl. But she wasn't little anymore, she was 23 and on the brink of turning into fullblooded vampire. Phury sighed, his daughter seemed to be okay, though there was some kind of shadow in her gaze but it might have been the massive hangover she was obviously sporting. As a father he didn't approve that kind of drinking, but in hangover there was nothing that couldn't be fixed with little sleep and Fritz's cooking. He kissed her on top of her head and hugged her once moore.

Shariel headed downstairs with her parents. Hearing familiar voices coming out of the dining room made her feel safe. It took time to get her place on the table, big hands and booming voices greeting her, welcoming her home. Shariel glanced around the room, but she didn't see the one she was looking for. Instead she felt the intelligent eyes of Vishous on her and she turned her gaze to the floor. She had tried to rein in her thoughts and images in her head, but she knew, she had failed miserably when she heard a glass break. "Fucking hell", Vishous shouted as he jumped out of his chair to avoid wine splatters and shattered glass.

"What happened? Let me see", Jane said and wiped the wine off his fingers with a napkin. Others had turned their eyes to V too, but he just waved his hand, "Just a faulty glass. Nothing to see here." Shariel met V's stare, it reflected her own pain. She slowly shook her head and in her mind told V to forget it. Thank god Fritz started to serve the dinner and the incident was soon forgotten.

Good company and good food seemed to work miracles on Shariel's hangover, she was amazed how much she had eaten regardless of her previous nausea. Everyone was finishing their meals and scattering into the billiards room and part of the Brothers headed to arm themselves for the night. Vishous stopped Shariel by the dining room door. "You should talk to someone. That kind of shit will eat you up. I too... we all need someone to share the shit with", V said and looked over his shoulder. As if feeling his stare, Butch stopped talking with Rhage, turned around and saluted V with his tumbler of Lagavulin.

"I'll keep that in mind", Shariel answered and stepped into the foyer and saw him. A young male leaned on the opposite wall, long legs draped in worn jeans that hung low on his hips. His arms were crossed over his wide chest. His dark brown hair flowed below his shoulders and you could see his fangs, when he smiled at Shariel. "Khalen...", was all she could say, her steps slowed as she neared the hazel-eyed male. Those eyes, perfectly carved features - her favorite sight before her vacation.

Khalen watched as Shariel came towards him. He drew air to his lungs and captured the delicate scent of orange blossoms. Shariel's scent intoxicated him every time and it became stronger every minute her transition neared. Khalen remembered the night a little over a year ago, when he got the first hint of her scent and from that moment on, he no longer saw a childhood friend but a female, that was to be his. And that moment was near. Just as soon as she'd go through her transition.

Khalen walked to the female and draped his long arms around her. Shariel leaned on his muscle filled chest and breathed in his scent, so familiar, crisp and clean like mountain air in the winter. Khalen threaded his fingres into Shariel's hair and leaned down to kiss her. It was Ahgony who interrupted them. "Get a room, you two", he said smiling. "What about a round in town? All together? Just for couple of beers. Nalla will come too". Thankful for her brother's interrutption, Shariel drew herself away from Khalen's embrace. "I think I'll stay in and catch some sleep. I'm really not in the mood".

"Well, if Shariel is staying in... I think that I want to...", Khalen started but Ahgony stopped him. "Everybody knows what you want, brother. But I think you can wait couple of hours, just few beers, that's all", Ahgony teased him and at the same moment Nalla came downstairs carrying Shariel's biker jacket. It was decided then. Because Shariel was the only one incapable to dematerialize, they needed a ride. Ahgony left for a minute and came back with Phury's BMW keys dangling in his hands. When they stepped into cool night, Shariel heard her father yell "Everyone home safe before dawn!" Phury got multiple agreeing answers before the big door slammed shut and the four of them packed themselves into silver BMW.

While driving Ahgony watched from the rear-view mirror how Shariel avoided Khalen's touch and withdrew to her own side, pressing her forehead on the window. What was going on with his sister? You would think, that after a month apart with your future mate, would make you act the opposite way. They certainly were inseparable before, in every meaning. Khalen seemed just as surprised, but he didn't say anything.

"Let's have a drink to my little sister", said Nalla and took a bottle of Grey Goose from her bag. After taking a draught, she passed the bottle to the backseat and Shariel took a long swig. The liquid burned on the way down, but she liked the warmth that spread afterwards.

"Well, are you going to tell us all about your vacation?", asked Nalla, "all about the beaches and wild parties.."

"It was nothing. Just sand and salty water", Shariel answered and took another swig of the vodka.

"You are being modest, but lucky you, we have all night", Nalla said and turned her eyes ahead.

 

 

 


	2. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shariel starts to execute her plans and there are casulties.

Downtown Ahgony drove them to a rock bar they all preferred. After ordering their drinks, they sat on the table in the back corner. Shariel downed her vodka and raised her empty glass to the waiter. In no time her glass was filled again. Music was loud and usually she loved the it. Now it hurt her ears. And that was a cue for another drink.

Nalla was definitely on the party mood. She headed straight towards the small stage, where a local band was playing. Shariel didn't feel like dancing, she wanted to down more vodkas. Shariel couldn't keep up with the conversation. There was too much going on in hear head. She explained that she was still tired from travelling and when others saw, that she had nothing to say, they left her alone. She just couldn't focus on anything. Not even on Khalen, who was playing pool with Ahgony. Usually she'd have gone to him, claim him in front of those women's hungry eyes, because there definitely was a jealous streak in her. But not now.

After finishing the game, the males returned to the table. "Shouldn't you slow down with the drinks? If you keep going on that pace, I'll have to carry your sorry ass. Again," Ahgony tried to slow her sister down. "Stop fucking patronizing me", Shariel scowled back and emptied her glass. She was starting to feel the effects of all that drinking and moved her chair back to go to the bathroom. She stood up only to sway back to her chair. Khalen smiled and helped her back to her feet. "Someone's had enough for  tonight. Are you okay?"

With drunken stubborn Shariel straightened her back and staggered to the bathroom. It was Nalla who followed. When the door closed, Nalla touched her shoulder. "Shariel, is something wrong? I think that of two weeks vacations there's more to tell that the palm trees were green and sand was hot. It feels like you don't want to be here, with us." Shariel looked into her best friend's citrine eyes. There was no explanation. How could she tell, that there was only one thought consuming her thoughts tonight, that she was going to break up with Khalen. Shariel pushed Nalla to the side and closed the bathroom stall.

"Shariel? Please talk to me. I know that something's wrong!" Nalla banged on the door, "Shariel!"."I don't have anything to say, so just back the fuck off!" was the only response she got from her  friend. Nalla stood in front of the stall but when Shariel yelled her to get the fuck out, she stormed back to the bar. Tears choked Shariel's throat. She had never said such things to Nalla before, they hardly ever argued. And now she had insulted her friend in very nasty way. Well that was just a beginning to the nasty things she was about to say tonight. But it still hurt, she wanted to hug Nalla and tell her everything. But she couldn't. Even if she could remember, she wouldn't tell a soul. Ever.

She barely got her jeans buttoned and after washing her hands, Shariel leaned on the sink. She thought of Khalen, who had patiently waited, for over a year now.  God, she loved him and he was old-fashioned gentlemale like his father, courting her in the human way like Butch had done with Marissa. All this time Khalen had fed from the Chosen and Shariel knew, that he hadn't had sex with them since they started dating. Khalen's balls had probably developed a new shade of blue by now. And now Shariel was going to reward him by dumping him. Lucky Khalen, the abstaining from sex meant that he hadn't bonded with Shariel either. He still had the chance to fall in love with another female and bond with her. Thought of Khalen with someone else made Shariel cringe, evoking a need to break something.

Back in the bar, Khalen tapped Ahgony in the shoulder. Being the spitting image of his father, Ahgony had no trouble finding company and he definitely wasn't celibate. Khalen had to punch him to get his attention. Sighing Ahgony withdrew from the lips of pretty red head. "Can you give me the keys? I think it's better I'll take Shariel home. She needs sleep." "Call Fritz to pick her up. Or better yet, let her arrange her own fuckin' ride!" Nalla scowled. "What's your problem?" Khalen started, but dropped it when Shariel came back.

"Let's go baby." Khalen helped her coat and bend to kiss the back of her neck. Shiver, like she never felt before, went through her like electric current, his velvet lips nibbling her neck and she heard his stifle growl.

In the car Khalen turned to look Shariel. "I've really missed you," Khalen said and reached from his seat to kiss her. He felt how a hot wave rose from the female and that turned the gentle touch into a demanding yearning. Khalen draped his hand behind Shariel's neck and drew her closer. Right that moment the tingling between Shariel's thighs vanished and she could barely hold back the scream. She felt like suffocating under the male's massive body. She pushed Khalen off herself.

"What.. Did I hurt you? Baby?" Khalen tried to understand the sudden change because he was sure, that for a moment Shariel had wanted him. A lot.

Shariel didn't answer but stared at the darkness. She sensed his confusion, attempt to understand her withdrawal and in utter silence they arrived at the mansion. In the foyer Khalen touched her cautiously, "Will you come up? I'd like to... I mean, we don't have to... shit..." Shariel nodded. The faster she this was over, the better. For both of them. Khalen closed to door to his room and pushed Shariel against it. He kissed her right by her ear. "I've missed you so bad. I love your scent, I just want to taste you..." Slowly he trailed her neck with his tongue.

"Please, stop," Shariel asked, pinned between the 6'7" male and the door. Khalen took a step backwards and she looked at the familiar features, the strong chest and muscles of his upper body that stretched his black shirt. Khalen was twelve years older than she was. Everything had changed after his transition. The scrawny pretrans turning into massive male, carved muscles filled with power and strength. Well, actually then night when she saw the male Khalen had become, was the night of his induction to the Brotherhood two years ago, ten years after his transition. Seeing the male in his ceremonial robe, that was the first time she thought she wanted to have his kiss, a real kiss and not the brotherly one on the cheek. And a year ago, at midnight pool party at the mansion, Khalen had kissed her. It was like a fairytale. Except fairytales are just that, nothing to do with reality.

"What is it? You've been acting weird all night." Khalen's voice startled her. "We need to talk. I've got something I wanna say to you," Shariel went by him and sat on the bed. She thought back on all the nights they had laid there together. How Khalen had used all his willpower to kheep himself from taking her. How he had struggled not to mount her when his desire and need had almost driven him crazy. But he had respected Shariel's wish to wait until her own transition. They both new, that she wouldn't enjoy making love to him like he did, not until she too was a full-blooded vampire. There were nights, when Khalen had shown her what the desire for her did to him. When Khalen's long fingers had moved along his shaft, faster and faster, Shariel had noticed hints of his spicy bonding scent. And when Khalen finally came, moaning with pleasure, Shariel had wanted nothing more than to go through her transition and feel those warm jets of his cum inside her body rather than on it.

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

Shariel lifted her eyes and shook her head. Khalen leaned on the wall before her. "What did you want to talk about? We don't have to... I mean, I can wait until you're ready."

 _Fuck! Always so goddamn chivalrous._ Shariel felt like choking. "I don't want you to wait. Not anymore. I... ah, I don't want to be with you anymore." There, she said it. Loud and clear.

Khalen was already coming towards the bed, when he stilled. "What? What did you just say?"

"I don't wanna be with you anymore. You are free to find you a mate. I can't be the one." Her words just hung there, in the midair.

Khalen stared at the blond female on his bed in disbelief. "What... what do you mean free?" In one long leap he stood right in front of Shariel, who was now shaking. "What the fuck are you talking about? Just tonight, in the car, you wanted me! You can say whatever you want, but your body told the truth!"

"My transition is near, anyone could kiss me and I'd react the same. Anyone's touch and hard dick would make me horny!" Lies just kept pouring out of her mouth.

Khalen felt air leave his lungs, like Shariel would have kicked him right in the nuts. The look on his face was full of pain and he could feel his anger swell. He strode in the room, pushing his long hair away from his face. Then he faced Shariel and his eyes burned with fire, "So somebody got you already? Is that it? Who was it? Someone you met on your vacation? Who the fuck gets to have you if it isn't me?!?" He spoke in low voice pointing at Shariel, "I. Love. You. I want you. I've fuckin' waited for you!"

"That's not my problem. And it was your decision to wait and live without sex." Shariel couldn't face Khalen anymore, she stood up and went to the door. She opened it but Khalen came behind her and threw the door shut. "You don't get to leave until we got to the fucking bottom of this! I think that I deserve an explanation!" he yelled. Shariel opened to door again and whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?!? I'm fucking sorry too!!" Khalen was now shouting and Shariel heard his bedside lamp shatter on the wall behind her.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" Zsadist had come from his room alarmed by the noise. He saw Shariel crying and Khalen, who shook in rage. In swift motion he had the young male by his throat and threw him on the wall. The impact made Khalen's brain slosh inside his skull.

"You goddamn asshole! What have you done to my niece?" Z growled and tightened his hold around his throat. Khalen saw Shariel leave and felt his rage disappear together with Z's tightening hold. "She doesn't want me..."

"What?" Zsadist loosened his grip.

"She doesn't want me anymore. She dumped me." When Zsadist let go, Khalen slowly walked into his room. Z stared at the closed door, "Jesus, what a fuckin' drama..."

 _Got to get out of here. Got to get out of here._ The thought hammered her skull. She sat in the darkness of her own room, tears flowing on her face. She hoped Zsadist wouldn't kill Khalen. Or maim him. She took her phone, but then realized that she didn't have the right to know. She had just given up everything.

There was a light knock on her door. "Shariel?". It was Bella. Probably sent by Z. "Shariel darling? Are you ok?" She heard that Bella was worried and that distressed her more. "I'm okay, I just want to sleep. Tell Z that... or never mind." There was a moment of silence and the she heard Bella walk away. Shariel was tired and her head hurt.

* * * * * * *

Shariel had heard the steel shutters go down as the sign of dawn. That was couple hours ago. Now the sun was up and everyone would be sleeping or engaged in other bedroom activities. She rose from the floor and took her suitcase. After a moment she knocked on a door. Cursing, Manny came to open the door, squinting and hair  disheveled. His attitude changed when he saw who it was. "Hi Shariel. What are you doing here?"

"You still got that apartment in Commodore?". Manny nodded.

"Can I crash there? Few days, so that I can sort my shit out. I don't want to go home, not just yet."

"Sure, no problem. But don't you think that you should sort your shit out right here rather than just runaway."

"No secrets in this fuckin' house? Mansion's daily bulletin of last night's events already delivered? And now everybody thinks that I'm the asshole, right?".

Manny shrugged his shoulders and turned to get the keys. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it and dropped the keys on Shariel's palm.

* * * * * * *

In the Pit Butch sat in front of V's toys and kept an eye on the security cameras.

"Leave her alone, Butch. I bet she feels shitty enough without you adding to it. You giving her piece of your mind and shoving it down her throat doesn't do anyone any good," Vishous tried to calm his best friend down. Since the news of what had happened last night had travelled to the pit, Butch had been furious.

"This is my son we're talking about! If that little missy won't explain this to him, I'm gonna sure as hell make her explain it to me! Goddamnit! You know how committed he was to her!" Butch practically yelled. Yeah, Vishous knew, just like everyone else in the mansion. And he understood where his friend was coming from. Butch's insecurities of not being good enough for Marissa at the beginning of their relationship were reflected into his son's situation. And V knew, that Butch vividly remembered how he had pined after Marissa. Nobody wishes that kind of pain for their children.

Butch's fangs flashed when he saw on the screen Shariel descending the stairs into the foyer. He got up so quickly that his chair bamged against the wall, and in a flash he was at the door to the underground tunnel. Vishous strode to the door and pushed it close, "Don't do it, Butch. You'll only make it worse."

"Go to hell", Butch answered and pushed V aside and entered the tunnel.

"You don't know every detail! Let it go, Butch!" Vishous yelled after him, but wasn't sure if the male even heard him. V debated with himself, if he should have said something about what he had seen in Shariel's thoughts. But he wasn't sure and thoughts were private after all.

Shariel headed to the kitchen, because although she was a mess, she was a hungry mess. Fritz made her a giant turkey on rye to go. "Miss, will you let me drive you to Commodore?"

"No, thanks. I'll drive myself. But could you fetch my car?". Fritz was delighted, that he could be of assistant and rushed to get her car from the underground parking hall.

She stepped back into foyer and searched her bag for sunglasses to shield her burning eyes. She stopped dead at her tracks when she saw Butch, waiting for her by the door. Shit, exactly what she needed right now.

"Why are you doing this to Khalen?" Butch tone lacked the warmth Shariel knew and loved. He was full of rage. She had hurt his son and he took it very fuckin' personally.

"Was it because of me? The son of a half-breed not worthy enough for the Miss pureblood?". Butch's words were like acid, he was pissed off and Shariel was the cause. Butch heard his own words, and inside he knew that he was wrong, but god, he was so angry! She was lucky, because Butch would never attack a female. But still Shariel was scared. Butch's hands were in tight fists and now he looked at the female, like he'd shake the answers out of her. Method indifferent.

"He waited for you! You were his whole world!" Butch growled as he walked to Shariel. Shariel's hand shook and she fought back tears. There was nothing to say. Fear and shame made her sweat as she backed towards the staircase. Butch drew air into his lungs, like he smelled her emotions. And he did. He gave her a crooked smile revealing his fangs."I knew it! You did uckin' deceive him! Lucky us, that we found it out now. You don't deserve my son!"

"Father, let her go..." Khalen stood at the top of the stairs. He was tired. "But..." Butch tried but Khalen cut him off. "Let her go. The sooner she's gone, the better." Slowly Butch backed away from Shariel. Her silence angered him. But he sensed so much regret and shame in the young female, that his guess couldn't be very far from the truth. Bloodline wasn't much of a guarantee.

Stepping out into the sun Shariel heard Khalen and Butch argue. She sighed, got into her car and started on the road down. She couldn't return anytime soon, she had caused too much havoc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter makes Butch seem like an asshole to some extend, but writing this I was recalling his insecurities at the beginning, of not being good enough. But I do love Butch and hope to redeem him later on.


	3. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shariel regains her lost memories and that certainly doesn't make her feel any better.

"What the fuck was that all about? You think I need your help to sort my shit out?" Khalen shouted at his father. He was furious as he stood chest to chest with Butch. Did his father regard him as child still? "I'm not fuckin' five years old! And if someone's going to demand an explanation from Shariel, it ain't fuckin' gonna be you!"

Butch was ashamed, he knew that Khalen was right. "I'm apologize, son. I don't know what got to me... I was so angry of what happened, I knew how devoted you were to her. But you're right, it's none of my business. You are and adult and don't need me defending you. I just hate to see you get hurt this way."

"The only thing good here is that there was nobody witnessing your bullshit. You know, fatherhood wouldn't save you from rythe, if you embarrassed me in front of the Brotherhood." Khalen was still angry, but he heard that Butch was telling the truth. "I love Shariel, and regardless what she might have done, you have no right to disrespect her."

Butch opened his mouth to say something but Khalen stopped him. "Save it, if there's someone you should apologize to, it's Shariel. I've had enough for tonight, just go." And then he turned and walked to his room, closing the door with a bang.

* * * * * * *

The sun had just set and Phury stood at Manny's balcony. He had heard from Z all that had gone down last night at the mansion and Shariel had texted her whereabouts. She slept on the couch. Or had she passed out? There was a wine bottle on the floor. Shariel was hangover last night too, but he hadn't wanted to confront her about that. Sometimes things got out of hands. But now, watching his daughter, Phury felt guilt gnawing inside. Had she inherited his addiction tendency? Had his weaknesses become his child's fate too? For the first time in very, very long time, Phury heard the Wizard. _Daughter like father. Drunk as a skunk. Life gets little hard and right away she seek solace in a bottle. Numbing herself, just like you did. But don't you worry, I can take care of her too...I'm very good at that. The best._

Phury closed his eyes, he felt anger boiling. He would do anything to keep her daughter safe.

* * * * * * *

Shariel woke up, the sun was shining bright and a glance at her phone told that it was 10:30 am. There were five missed calls, three from her father and one from her mahmen and the last call on the screen... that was unknown. Before she had time to think about that more thoroughly, her phone chimed. It was Butch. Shariel hesitated for a moment, but chose to answer.

"Hello Shariel," Butch's voice was cautious, like he expected Shariel to breath fire through the connection. Shariel greeted him and waited. After a moment of silence, Butch continued. "I want to apologize to you. I know I was out of line yesterday."

"You damn right were, and apology accepted. I'm just too tired to fight." Shariel thought that maybe Butch wanted to hear her deny that she had betrayed Khalen. But that was the one thing she couldn't do. Because whatever had happened, it definitely wasn't nothing. And those things she had recollection of, she tried to forget.

"I'm sorry, if you felt like things didn't work out with you and Khalen. For whatever reason you broke up with him, I guess you had to do it," Butch continued. Shariel had nothing to add, shit happens and then you just have to find a way to cope with it. Butch ended the call after goodbyes and Shariel stared at the phone in her hand. Goddamn knights in shiny armours, father and son.

Food, she needed food. She had searched the kitchen cabinets when she arrived and it was obvious that Manny and Payne didn't use the apartment for dinner dates. Shariel took the keys and stepped into elevator. Once in the street level, she ventured to a nearby coffee shop.  She sat on the table outside, enjoying the warmth of the sun and  looking at the people minding their own business, living life as usual. She blended right in, her exterior was intact.

After her breakfast arrived, she took out her phone again. She touched the screen to call Phury. There was barely time for one ringtone, before Phury answered. "Hi dad."

"Shariel, you've worried us, truly. Are you alright?" She could hear the concern in her father's voice.

"I'm sorry, please don't be angry with me. I'm doing just fine." Shariel swallowed her tears. She had never told a lie to her father before. "I just need some time alone to think."

"Nalla, I know you must be shattered, but please come home. Let us help to heal your broken heart. And never could I be angry with you. But it breaks my and your mahmen's hearts to know that you are there all alone."

"Please, don't worry. I'll come home in couple of days." Shariel was about to hang up the phone when Phury said, "Wait, just one more thing. How have you been feeling? You have to come home before the transition hits you, you know that right? If we don't get someone to feed you in time, you could end up dead, and I'm not gonna let that happen. And don't worry, I'll find someone worthy. I guess it's safe to assume, that you don't want Khalen to feed you."

"I'm fine, just a bit more hungry and maybe some extra headaches, but I think that there's still plenty of time. And please, no Khalen."

"Okay then. I'll call you tomorrow and you call me if there's any change in how you're feeling. I love you", Phury said. They ended the call and Shariel put her phone on the table. Fuckin' transition. She was sure, that her father would have no trouble finding her a willing male. Primale's daughter, that's quite a catch. She sure as hell didn't feel like one. And besides, she knew that no male could match Khalen. She finished her breakfast quickly and returned to Commodore.

* * * * * * *

Khalen and Ahgony stood shoulder to shoulder under a dead street light. They watched the Beast feast on lessers and it needed no help. Ahgony turned to Khalen: "So, you wanna talk about it?"

"No. I don't even know what the hell happened myself." Khalen stared at the massacre but not really seeing it. He had mulled the events over and over again the past day and still, he was clueless. Only thing certain was that Shariel had practically reeked of remorse and shame and that backed up the theory that she had cheated on him.

"My father is seeking a male to feed Shariel. I just wanted to tell you, so you won't go all apeshit if it turns out to be someone you know."

"I won't. I don't care." Khalen answered, his voice tense. "Then why are you flashing those fangs and your fists are all squeezed tight?" Ahgony shot back.

"Fuck you! Let's get Rhage and take him home to Mary." Khalen strode to the shivering mess, that laid on the ground. "Hold on, Ahgony's getting the car. We'll get you home." Khalen kneeled to comfort Rhage. Ahgony parked his Jeep next to them and together they lifted him to the backseat. Ahgony took a blanket from the trunk and covered naked warrior.

They drove in silence until the gates of the Brotherhood mansion. "You don't wanna talk? Fine. But don't bullshit me or anyone else that you don't give a damn." Ahgony turned to look at Khalen, who stared the windshield. No response. Ahgony knew not to push, the right time would eventually come.

After getting Rhage to Mary's care, Khalen went to his room, changed and headed to the gym. There was no way he had any hope of sleeping, his brain was churning and his body was restless. No enough fight with lessers, the Beast had taken care of that. Maybe few hours on a treadmill and pumping iron would tire him enough to catch few hours of shut eye.

Khalen opened the gym door and stared in for a moment, there were other males trainig. Loud talking, dirty jokes and thundering music. The gym felt too crowded, he turned around, jogged through the underground garage to the yard and dematerialized.

* * * * * * *

Shariel woke up from the couch, again. It was 4 pm and the afternoon sun glowed in the apartment. She opened the doors, walked to the balcony and looked down on the busy street. She felt so alone. Five nights was enough. Tonight she was going home, she missed her family and her own bed. Life would go on. As much it sucked, it would go on. She went back  inside and called her mother. "Hi mahmen. I'm sorry I woke you ."

"It's alright my love. You can call me anytime, you know that. How are you?"

"I'm alright. I just wanted to tell you, that I'll come home tonight. "

"Oh, that's wonderful! Are you coming now?" Cormia was relieved. She hated that her daughter was alone somewhere, when she so obviously needed to be with the ones loving her.

"No, I'll have to tidy up here. I'll be home for the first meal."

"I'm  so happy daughter o'mine. I'll prepare you favorite food, grilled steaks. Should I send someone to pick you up?"

"No need, I have my car here. I'll drive carefully, I promise." After ending the call, she took the vacuum cleaner and started to clean the place up.

* * * * * * *

In the darkness of his bedroom, Khalen sat up and swung his legs to the floor. His head was killing him, dull ache pounding inside his skull .He fumbled for the light switch on his nightstand. Something rattled. Empty whisky bottle bounced on the floor. The light was too damn bright. He turned it off and reached for his watch. It was 6 pm, plenty of time to sleep some more. Except he couldn't.

Every night since Shariel had left, after his patrolling duty, he had gone to the Commodore. Stood there on the balcony and watched her sleeping. On the brink of dawn, he had dematerialized home and dragged his sorry ass to his room, only to drown in fine single malt whisky. Thanks to the Butch's and Manny's preferences, there was endless supply of the liquid gold in the mansion.

With stiff feet he walked in to the shower and let the hot water pour over himself. _What the hell had happened?_ Recollection of Shariel's scent and heat, that short moment when he had felt the passion of the female in the car, aroused instantaneous erection. He had never seen Shariel fully naked but his hands had roamed on her body so many times, that he had every curve imprinted in his brain. Her full breasts, perfectly fitting his palms, the curvy waist, the long legs...

His straying thoughts made his cock pulse. Demanding a touch, friction, anything to get the release.  A year of waiting, relying only to his right hand to relieve the pressure, wasn't quite enough to keep a male satisfied. If Shariel really had cheated on him, it was all in vain. He could have gone out and have sex with all those willing females and women. Except... he didn't want to. He wanted nobody else. Maybe he was doomed for the rest of his life into selective impotency, only to jerk off to images of Shariel in his head. Fuckin' pathetic.

Khalen turned the shower to ice cold and closed his eyes.

* * * * * * *

 After tidying up the apartment, Shariel took a shower and headed to the coffee house to eat something. She was greeted by the waitress and she came to take her order immediately. She sat outside, on the same table as every day on this past five days. Her eyes stung and joints ached. The pain and constant nausea were signs that transition was near and she should go home, if she wanted to have any chance of survival. Although she didn't know if she had that chance now. Khalen was supposed to feed her and now? It'd be some stranger with no meaning to her. Her bagels and coffee arrived. She bit through the creamy bagel, it tasted so good. God, she could eat a horse and still be left hungry. While chewing, she pulled out her phone and texted Manny, thanking him for the loan of the apartment and that she'd send the keys back with Phury in couple of days.

"Miss?" Shariel startled and looked up, holding her coffee mug. The waitress stood before her, holding a blood red rose. "The gentleman over there wishes to give you this." Shariel looked over waitress' shoulder, and a man dressed in all black nodded touching the brim of his hat. Shariel caught a glimpse of his eyes and dropped her mug. It fell to the ground shattering into pieces. She could barely hold back a scream. Her throat was tight and she gasped for air.

"Are you alright? Should I call for help?" The waitress was getting really worried.

"No.. I'm alright. I just got to go." Sheen of sweat suddenly appeared on her forehead and her gut was in tight knot. This nausea had nothing to do with transition but fear.  Hands shaking she took money from her wallet, crabbed her phone and run out. She ran, never looking back,  until she was inside Commodore's elevator. She pressed the keys against her palm and soon as she was inside the apartment, she locked the door.

* * * * * * *

V sat behind his toys, deep in thought when Butch emerged from his room. He had just woken up, hair all tousled.  "What's up? How long you've been up?". V didn't answer and Butch got himself a mug full of freshly brewed coffee from  the kitchen and returned to living room. "You're gonna share what's on your mind?"

Vishous sighed. "What would you do, if you knew something about someone close to you and that person needed help, but it isn't your secret to tell?"

"Is this about some vision you've had?". V shook his head. "It's something I accidentally catched on someone's thoughts. It's very personal, possibly very destructive."

"Why don't you talk to this person yourself? I think that it's safe to assume that this someone is part of our family here in mansion, so you know everybody better than well." Butch said.

"I did, but she told me to drop it. But now... it has already had consequences.".

"She? I'd try again or tell someone closer to this someone. Secret or not, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself, if something happened and you could have prevented it."

"You're right. I'll talk to Phury tonight." Vishous nodded in agreement with his best friend.

"Wait... Phury? Do you mean...? Are you talking about Shariel?" Butch stared at V."Great, now I really feel like an asshole. Fucking hell. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"It was not mine to share and you've apologized to her, so there's nothing more you can do. But thanks, I'll talk to Phury." V repeated, assuring himself that it was the right thing to do, no matter what Shariel had asked.

* * * * * * *

Shariel gathered all her belongings. She was going home, right now. The man in the coffee house scared her. There was something in his gaze that made her run. She felt uneasy and sooner she'd get home, the better. She turned off the lights in the living room and was in the foyer, when her phone rang. Unknown number. She thought about  it for a second, but answered then. For a while the phone was silent, only subdued humming telling that the line was open. "Hello darling. What did you think of the rose?". A hoarse male voice drawled the words. "Do you remember me?"

The voice reminded her of something, something that made her skin crawl. "Who are you? How did you get this number?" Her voice was only a whisper.

"Oh, yes. My bad. Of course you don't remember me, but I surely remember you. And you gave me this number yourself." The male sounded pleased. " You were the best entertainment I've had in long time. I just wanted to give you a rose to show you my gratitude. I hope I'll have the pleasure to meet you again." And the line went dead.

Shariel dropped to the floor, the fear made her pant. Her phone fell from her hand, but she didn't notice. She stared t the wall, seeing nothing, her brain churning and the headache getting worse every second. She could still hear the taunting voice and see those haunting eyes. Fuckin' fuck! No matter how hard she tried to block them, memories from the evening almost two weeks ago popped up in her head.  Tears fell down on her cheeks. Shariel remembered  how she had become aware of her surroundings on a back alley. How she had smelled the blood, her own. It wasn't only dripping from her split upper lip, it had also run down her naked thighs. That was all she remembered, but it was enough. There was only one way, that could have hurt her like that. She remembered the feeling of suffocation, when she had started to realize what had gone down on the alley. And now there was someone out there, someone who had more knowledge of the events that she did. And it scared the hell out of her.

Shariel sat there for a long time, sobbing. She didn't have it in her to move. Her thoughts were like a storm, whirling in her mind. Why wasn't she able to remember more? And who the fuck was this man? She needed someone to hold her, right now. She needed the shelter of her fathe'rs arms, her mother's gentle words to calm her down.

When she finally was able to gather her thoughts, she stood up. She had to get away from this apartment.  It was 9:30 pm, if she left now, she'd be home for the first meal. Then she would tell everything to her father, he'd know what to do, he always did. Or maybe she wouldn't tell him everything, he didn't need to know. Some things were better kept untold. She texted her mom that she was on her way, took her bag and car keys and shoved the phone into her pocket. No, better to leave the phone behind. She never wanted to hear that voice again. Vishous would get her new phone. She left the phone on the counter and closed the door.

Evening traffic was quiet and in no time Shariel had left the downtown behind. She was deep in her thoughts as she headed for the Great Camp. How would she tell about the man to her father without revealing the whole thing? She just refused to cause that much pain to her parents, what that kind of knowledge would do.  She drove on and didn't notice the figure standing in the middle of the road until it was too late. She screamed and pushed the brake pedal to the floor. Her Volvo slithered sideways and after spinning couple of times, it came to a halt in the middle of the road. Shariel was out of breath and her knuckles were clenched tight around the steering wheel.  She noticed someone approaching the car. It was dark, in the headlights of her car she could only see the glowing eyes. All she could think about was danger she was about to face.

Keeping her eye on the figure coming closer, she fumbled  forward with her hand. Where the fuck was the knife? Ahgony had given her a switchblade as a gift and she had laughed at her brother, what would she need a knife for? She had thought the gift useless and forgot it in the glove compartment. Now she was relieved when she felt the handle in her palm.

Suddenly the figure disappeared and in the next second, the passenger door opened. Shariel screamed again. Why hadn't she locked the doors? Man, no, a blond male, sat on the passenger seat and smiled at her flashing his long fangs. Shariel raised her hand and tried to stab the male. He was able to steer Shariel's hand downward and instead of hitting him in the chest, the blade sunk into his thigh, all the way to the hilt.  Purple blood poured out and the male laughed. "That's no way to greet someone." He pulled the blade out and threw it on the floor. He raised his bright red eyes and stared at Shariel. "Remember me."

It was like an order to open the flood gates, everything that she hadn't been able to remember, came back in a rush. She remembered the dark alley, how the male had stood beside her when she was on the cold ground. Those eyes. How could she had forgotten those eyes? Shariel suffocated, her lungs squeezing tight. Sweat ran down her back, fear was tangible. Male wiped the blood with Shariel's white scarf and laughed again. "You can't hurt me. Now be a good little female and drive to that parking area ahead."

It was like she was on autopilot. She started the car and drove half a mile to a parking area on the side of the road. She pressed herself against the door when the male leaned in closer and inhaled deep. She felt his breath on her neck, his tongue swept along her earlobe. "I love the scent of your fear. Do you remember me now? Do you remember what I taste like?". The male returned to his seat and shut down the engine, taking the keys from the ignition.

Shariel tasted the bile in the back of her throat as she recalled how the male had bitten himself and fed his blood to her. She hadn't wanted to, but he had bended her head backwards and poured his blood into her mouth. She had fought and spat, but he had been so much stronger. So much stronger.

"You wanna know why? When I saw you in that restaurant, I just wanted to have little fun with a pretrans female and leave it to that. But when I realized who you were, it was just too enchanting opportunity to pass by. Who wouldn't want to play with the Primale's daughter? Look,  what your fear does to me."

Male opened his jacket, Shariel looked at him and didn't understand at first, but then he raised his hips and showed her the bulge in front of his pants. He licked his upper lip and his breathing turned into aroused panting. "Let's think back, our first time, almost a rendezvous. You really impressed me."

Shariel felt the pain, when the male invaded her mind and made her relive all those horrible moments in the darkness. All the things she had forgotten, came back, frame by frame. How in the restaurant, she had felt ill and had gone outside for some fresh air. On the way she had swayed against a stranger and then everything went black, she had no memories, until...She was on her back on the hard, cold ground. One man was holding her arms with one hand, pushing his palm on her mouth and the other man had been between her legs. The man had licked her neck with his slimy tongue, his breath had smelled like stale beer and cigarettes. She had smelled pungent odor of sweat too. He had groped her breasts so hard, that they were all bruised the next day. And the sympath had stood there, watching, enjoying the events he had put in motion. There was nothing like fear to get him aroused. Nothing comparing to the sexual high inflicted by innocent's pain.

The male, red-eyed halfblooded sympath, leaned back in his seat and opened his trousers. He released his erection and stared Shariel right into the eye, when he began  stroking his shaft in slow pace. Shariel couldn't move, like she was paralyzed in her seat, forced to watch his show. In slow motion she relived every painful moment, the sympath commanding her brain.

Hot tears flooded her eyes, there was nothing she could do to stop him or the memories. He had blocked them from her only to bring them back to get his perverse pleasure, to fulfill himself with her fear and pain.

His hand moved faster on his cock and with the other hand he gripped his testicles. His pelvis shot forward as his climax neared. Shariel sobbed, but she was unable to scream. She tried to close her eyes, but the male commanded her to open her eyes and she obeyed. She had no control over herself.

"Don't you dare to close your eyes. I want you to see the pleasure you give me. And that pain in your eyes..." The male groaned as he felt the first wave of orgasm, he was so near. He gripped himself tighter and with every stroke, he slided his thumb over the purple, pulsing head of his cock. When he reached the part of Shariel's memories, where her rapist had orgasmed inside her, he couldn't hold himself back any longer. He came  in loud roar, milking himself and riding the wave for what seemed like forever to Shariel. He shot his cum all over his pants and the seat. He defiled her all over again, just like the men in the alley had done

Finally his hand stilled. Out of breath he watched  Shariel, gruesome smile twisting his lips, and he closed his zipper and wiped his hands on Shariel's already bloody scarf. "See? You're lovely. I enjoy too much of your company to let you go. And really, there's no other who'd want you now, not anymore. I want to spend more time with you. And don't try to hide. With my blood in you... There's nowhere to go. I will find you. Always."

The male dematerialized. The silence was so loud, it hurt her ears. Still panting, she opened the door and fell on the ground. The tight knot in her stomach loosened, she swallowed the bile back couple of times  and then gave up and vomited. Violent spasm made her grasp the door frame. She vomited until she tasted blood and her eyes watered. She was sweating on her knees, staring at her own vomit, clothes stained. Shariel stood up on wobbly legs, took her bag from the car and changed into clean sweatpants and sweater.

The only thought hammering in her brain was: _Flee!_ But where could she go? Her car was useless, since he had taken the keys. And she'd never sit behind that wheel, not ever again. There was no one to help her, she was in middle of nowhere and had no phone. _Shit!_ But she couldn't stay here either. She looked around her in the darkness. The shadows seemed to grow, every little rustle a sound of danger. She grabbed the switchblade from the floor and started to run towards Great Camp. Ten, maybe fifteen miles and she'd be home. Safe. Suddenly she halted. If the sympath would find her anywhere, it meant also her home. She couldn't jeopardize her family or the Chosen staying there by leading that male there. No one else should pay for her mistakes. Shariel turned around and vanished into the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw this in my mind, but had hard time putting the emotions into words.


	4. Roar of a wounded lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's on the run and everybody in the mansion is starting to get worried, big time.

The branches scratched her face, as she limped on without sense of direction. She had stumbled numerous times in the dark and she had fell from a small cliff. That had probably sprained or broken something because she could set hardly any weight on her left foot. Her sweatpants were torn from the knees and wet shoes had rubbed blisters on her feet. She had no sense of time, she knew only that dawn was near.

Finally she came to a riverbank, there was no way cross the stream, she was too exhausted and in too much pain. She dropped to her knees and drank the crystal clear water. Then she just crawled to sit against a large spruce. So tired, she was so very tired, all of her body aching. But every time she closed her eyelids, all she saw were the haunting red eyes and the men in the alley. In her mind she was raped over and over again, but there were not tears to cry. She was numb from the pain. _It was god sent that I dumped Khalen. How a Brother could ever mate someone like me? I would only disgrace him. I'm ruined._

* * * * * * *

At the mansion, everyone was gathering for the last meal. Phury had spent his night teaching the trainees, the future soldiers and Brothers. He loved teaching and it was safe to say, that the trainees liked him too. His calm manners, endless patience and vast knowledge made him a good teacher.

Then he had spent hours with Wrath and Tohr, planning the training program, since they had accepted the main responsibility for the education. Every Brother had his forté and they had planned a teaching rotation, so that their knowledge would be passed on and shared with the future warriors of the race. Now he was exhausted. There was still an hour to the dawn, he'd go home after the last meal. Home to his lovely Cormia. He smiled to himself as he thought about crawling between his females thighs, her sweet taste on his tongue... his fangs lengthened at the thought and he discreetly rearranged himself in his slacks before stepping into the dining room.

Just as he pulled chair to sit on, Manny came to him. "No hurry returning those keys. I have another set."

Phury looked at him, little dumbfounded."What keys are you talking about?"

"Commodore's, of course. Shariel texted me that she was going home and that you'd bring back my keys. I'm just glad that she's home now and not alone in the city."

Phury fumbled his phone from his pocket. Eight missed calls from Cormia. He had silenced his phone for the night to prevent interruptions in the class and in the meeting. He touched the screen and called his shellan. "Leelan, I'm sorry I missed your calls, but.." he was interrupted by Cormia."Phury! Is Shariel there with you?"

"No. Manny said she was home."

"She isn't. I mean, she was supposed to be. We talked on the phone and she said she'd be home for the first meal. She texted me around 9:30 pm that she was leaving Commodore."Cormia was getting anxious. "Phury, I'm getting worried. It's almost 5 am, she should have been here hours ago! Where is my daughter? Can you check with John Matthew? He's her Ghuardian, maybe she's with him. "

"Calm down, leelan. I'm sure she's alright. I'll ask JM. I haven't seen Khalen either, maybe they are together, sorting their things out. I will call you soon as I reach her."

After ending the call with Cormia, Phury tried to call Shariel. Her phone rung, but nobody answered and after a while the call was directed into her voicemail. Phury hang up. This wasn't like Shariel at all, she would never cause her mahmen grief, not on purpose. Then he texted JM. Why hadn't he thought of that? JM and Shariel were close. Cormia and he had wanted JM to be her Ghuardian, because they both shared a special bond with the male. The reply was quick. _She's not with us. We were supposed to meet tomorrow. Hang on, we'll be there in ten. We'll figure this out._

Phury looked around the dining room and then raised his voice over the general dinner noise." Has anyone seen Shariel?"

The room went silent and everyone was shrugging shoulders and shaking their heads. "She's not at the Commodore anyway. I was just there." Khalen stood at the doorway. "And she doesn't have her phone with her. I heard it,  when I was there and tried to call her."

"Why the hell would she leave her phone?" Now Phury was really worried. Where was she? "Vishous!" he shouted as he searched the room for V. "Goddamn it! Vishous!"

V emerged from the underground tunnel and heard Phury yelling. He strode to the dining room, and was about to say something witty but he halted when he saw Phury. Even the deaf could hear the Brother's thoughts. The words died on his lips. Phury marched to him. "I want you to find out where's her car."

"I'm on it. Just gimme a second", V turned around and practically ran upstairs to Wrath's study. He had a tracking device in every single vehicle used by the members of their extended family. Few quick runs with his fingers, and he had a map pulled to the screen and a red dot marking Shariel's car.

Phury's distress didn't go unnoticed in the dining room and suddenly nobody was eating. They all waited for V to tell them, that she was on the way home. Instead V came to the second floor's balcony and called for Phury to come and see, what he had discovered. Then he returned to the computer and searched the tracking device's log.

The jingle of George's collar told V that the King was on his way, and the stomping sounds of shitkickers was the sign of the Brotherhood following. They all gathered around the screen. Just as Blay was about to close the doors, John Matthew and Xhex stormed in. Everyone stared silent at the map and the stationary red dot. Finally Wrath broke the silence "Would someone of you fucking tell me what you're seeing?"

"Her car is in a rest stop, maybe 15 miles from the Great Camp. It's not moving and the car's log shows it's been there in the same spot since eleven last night."Vishous voice was fake calm.

Phury strode to the study's door. "I'll..." and that's when the steel shutters started to descend. No one would be going anywhere. The sunrise was less than half an hour away. Panic flooded over Phury and his hand shook on the door handle. He had to get to Shariel, immediately.

Zsadist walked to his twin and put his hand on his shoulder. "You'll scorch if you go out now. Pile of ashes can't help her. We all want to find her now, but we'll have more chance of succeeding if we stay alive."

Wrath cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. It was time, as a leader of this jolly bunch, to take the reins. "We are all stuck here until tonight, except for Xhex. So you'll go change and then check out the car. We got to start somewhere."

The study was silent, one of their own was missing. Phury paced in front of the fireplace, pushing his fingers through his multicolored mane, already tousled. Then V spoke. "I need to speak with Phury. In private, so could you all excuse us. You can stay Z." Wrath didn't move either, if it got something to do with finding Shariel, he had the right to know. Butch glanced at V before heading to the door. He knew his best friend, all the small details told of his unease. This was some serious shit.

Others walked put to the corridor and Vishous closed the doors. He turned to face Phury and pulled back his black hair. After a moment of silence, he spoke "I want to tell you... I should have told you this earlier, but..."

"What?! You should have told me what?" Phury stormed forward and grabbed the lapels of V's leather jacket. "If you know something about my daughter, spit it out! NOW!" He roared, no more calm.

Vishous stood firmly as Z wrapped his strong arm around Phury's chest and pulled him away. V nodded him, he shouldn't loosen his hold. Phury's anger was palpable, radiating towards Vishous. "Now, V!" he growled low. Vishous drew a deep breath and leveled his eyes with Phury's. "The night Shariel came back, I caught something of her thoughts, images of..."

Phury's muscles tensed under Zsadist's hold. "I have no patience left in me..." he warned.

V knew, there was no sugarcoating what he was about to tell. But to telling something that no father wanted to hear and know it'd break Phury's heart... but he had no choice. "I saw her on the ground, bleeding..."

Phury stared at V. He saw the pain, anger and silent apology  in those navy-rimmed eyes. He understood what his brother implied. Somebody had violated his precious little girl.

Suddenly the room was silent, only sounds of four males breathing. Zsadist tightened his hold, preparing for the response. Then a roar shook the study. A growl of a wounded lion shattered the mirror. Phury's rage sent the papers on Wrath's desk flying and tore the paintings off the wall and curtains from the windows. The doors of the study blew open and debris flew into the corridor, having the waiting brothers duck for cover. Z tightened his hold some more, now bordering strangle. He pressed his twin against his massive chest, trying to absorb some of Phury's agony. No matter how he felt about the touch, his brother's pain was far beyond his own.

"Fuckin' hell..." Wrath was without words. Mates were most important for males, but children represented continuity and strength. Especially, considering the amount of mothers and children dying in pregnancies and giving births, the ones who survived, were precious. Daughters were treasured and protected, females were the strength of the race in so many ways.

Phury tore himself off from Z's hold and rammed Vishous against the wall, his fist hitting straight in V's jaw with such a force that V's teeth rattled. "Fuck you V! After everything, you should have told me right away!" Vishous raised his hands in surrender, letting Phury take his anger on him. "I know. I'm sorry." Phury glared at Vishous, then let go. With the back of his hand, Vishous wiped the blood trickling from his mouth. Z followed his twin as Phury stormed out of the room, this definitely wasn't a time to leave the male alone.

All the warriors stood in the study, dumbfounded, looking at the chaos. Finally JM signed. _What was that?_

Wrath felt his Brothers and knew, that everyone of them would give their lives for this weird, dysfunctional but tight and loyal family of theirs. He lifted his wraparounds and rubbed his eyes. "Vishous revealed something he'd seen. Shariel's been hurt and she... let's just say she might be somewhat unstable right now." That was all he was going to say of V's revelation. If Shariel had been raped, that was too private to share with anyone. It was hers to share to whomever she wanted, if she chose to. " Xhex?"

Xhex stepped in, all geared up."Yes, sir."

"You better be prepared for everything."

"I am." Xhex answered and lifted the black glasses she was wearing to protect her eyes from the sun. There was no vampire left in her. Her eyes shone red and they could all smell her blood, seeping through her leathers at her thighs as she had removed the cilices. She was ready. John Matthew kissed her and signed _Bring our goddaughter home._

* * * * * * *

Phury was in the billiards room, raw gin on his tumbler. No need to water it with tonic. He hadn't craved for red smoke in ages, but now... oh, how he'd love to feel the illusion of calm that the smoke brought. His hands were shaking as he leaned on the bar with his elbows on the counter. He stared at his tumbler, whirling the clear liquid. How he was supposed to tell all this to his shellan? It would break her heart.

He felt Zsadist enter the room. Z came to stand next to him, their shoulders brushing. Z's presence comforted him, subduing the crave for red smoke. "Where's she?" Phury's voice was a hoarse whisper.

"I don't know. Nalla doesn't either. But Xhex should be there any minute now. Let's go back to the others to hear what she has to say."

"What if... " Phury's voice broke. Zsadist had never seen his twin like this. Always so collected male was now a mess, mere push away from falling completely apart.

"She's not dead. You hear me! She's not dead. You remember how we got Bella back? We'll get Shariel home too."

Phury downed the gin and poured another one to go as he followed Z back to Wrath's study.

* * * * * * *

Xhex parked Ahgony's Jeep behind Shariel's car. Soon as she stepped out, she smelled the blood. _Please, dear Virgin, don't let it be..._ Carefully, with a gun in her hand she approached the vehicle. She sensed no one, but she didn't want to take any unnecessary risks. By the car, she noticed Shariel's bag and the pool of vomit. She stepped around it and opened the door. The odors hit her in the face, making her nauseated. Somebody had bled in this car.

Xhex went around the car and opened the passenger door. She holstered her gun and did a quick search. There was purple blood on Shariel's scarf and seeped into the seat. The scent of a male was prominent and as she looked more closely, she noticed the cum all over the console. What the hell had happened here? There was no sign of Shariel, she had to be afoot or she was taken somewhere. She took her phone and moved her fingers swiftly on the screen.

Wrath answered "You're on speaker."

Xhex voice was tense. "I've found the car, but Shariel isn't here. There's something I need to tell Phury first. Phury, pick up the phone."

Phury walked to the desk and lifted the receiver. "I'm here."

"I wanted to say this to you first, before the others hear. There's sympath blood in the car, it seems like it's been wiped on a scarf. And then there's..." Xhex hesitated for a moment. "There's cum all over the front seats." Phury grasped the phone, his knuckles white. He had no voice. Why would a sympath or any male for that matter ejaculate in her car? Did she have a secret life, that none knew of? Was the sympath the one, that had abused her?  "Phury? Phury, you still there? I think that Shariel's on the run."

Phury neither saw nor heard anything. His muscles were coiled tight, his mind blank. Vishous came to the desk and gently unwrapped Phury's fingers and took the phone. "It's me. Tell me what you got." Xhex repeated what she had said to Phury. She told also about the stained clothes and vomit. Then V put her back on speaker.

"As I've told V, there seems to be a sympath involved. And I've got a feeling that Shariel's fleeing. There's no sign of her, but I have an idea and this is where you come in my King." Xhex announcement made the Brothers curse, if there possibly was a way, that things could get worse, they just had. A member of their family was somewhere out there, wandering, possible fleeing, all alone and probably scared to death. They all knew too damn well, what the sympaths thrived on.

Wrath raised his eyebrows, this was intriguing. "Okay, let's hear it."

"I'd like to borrow George. With his help, we could track down Shariel if she's here. Fritz could bring him here. That way we wouldn't have to wait until evening, to gather everyone here for a search." Xhex didn't mention what everyone was thinking. If Shariel wasn't in the woods, it would be impossible to find her. Period.

"Sounds like a plan. Fritz will soon be on the way there." Wrath agreed. It was the only thing they could do before sunset and even then, it would take time to search the vast woods.

Khalen stood by the fireplace, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Why hadn't she confined in him? He could have protected her. Here in the mansion she would have been safe. Ahgony seemed as bewildered as his father. In few hours things had taken turns that nobody could have predicted. Khalen gave his best friend a brief one arm hug as Ahgony searched for his phone. "I've got to call mahmen. Make sure that Amalya is there with her." With a sigh he went to the hall to make the call. His mahmen would be shocked to hear, that her daughter was nowhere to be found. And there was no way she could dematerialize to the mansion  given the upsetting news and that it was still early morning.

 Khalen glanced at Phury. The male was led to the couch by Butch. He was all in the cop-mode, providing strength when his Brother had none. Phury buried his face into his hands. "Cop, what if she's laying helpless somewhere in the gutter? What if we're too late and the sympath has her..." Phury couldn't finish the sentence, it was too painful a thought, that his daughter might be held captive, violated over and over again.

"She's not. We are not. And we will find her." Butch grasped his Brother's shoulder, feeling the muscle coiled tight. Butch lingered for a second in his own painful memories, but this time it would be different. They'd bring her home, alive.


	5. The rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xhex's mission is a succes, sort of.  
> ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The sun was already up when Shariel startled from her brief, restless sleep. Her body was aching and it had grown numb because of the cold night. She didn't have time to linger, she'd have get moving, soon. But how? Since her left ankle had swollen huge, she just wasn't able to walk and crawling would get her nowhere. Then she noticed the switchblade she was still grasping in her hand.

She inspected the fine steel, admiring it's shine in the sun, and then she smiled. That was it. Finally she had found a solution and she was holding it. It was the blood, that connected her to the sympath. All she had to do was bleed it out of her. Shariel got on to her knees and rolled up her sleeves. Getting rid of the sympath's blood would also mean getting rid of the horrendous male, forever.  Somehow this all made sense in the messed up brain of hers. It all seemed perfectly logical to her in her exhaustion and fear.

She pressed the blade and felt the sharpness against her forearm. She gasped from pain when the blade cut through her skin and blood trickled on the surface. Deeper, it had to be deeper. The second cut was bolder and trickling turned into bleeding. She slashed her forearm again and again, until there were cuts in a row, blood seeping on the ground beneath her. She had to get the dirty blood out of her system, it was the only way to hide from the sympath.

* * * * * * *

Xhex didn't have to wait long, when Fritz arrived with George. "Here you go. I did a quick search and have equipped the dog with a long leash. Shall I wait?"

"Thank you Fritz. It is not necessary. I'll call if I need a pick up for George." The golden retriever stood by the female, little lost without his master. Xhex took him to the car and showed him Shariel's clothes. It was like the dog immediately understood, that they were on a mission and he played a crucial part in it. George sniffed the clothes thoroughly and then took few steps around the car. Suddenly, maybe 100 feet from the car, George lowered his head and without any hesitation turned into the woods. Xhex gave him more leash and followed.

George tracked Shariel's steps for six miles, until they arrived to cliff and Xhex looked down. It was almost 7 feet drop down. George went around the cliff and descended. Beneath the cliff, he started to whimper and when Xhex came to him, she found Shariel's watch. "Good boy," she patted George on the head and gave him water. After the dog had drunk, she urged him to continue the search. And he did.

1,5 miles later George halted and lifted his snout and whimpered again. Xhex stopped too, but she didn't see anything. She continued to follow the dog as he proceeded on the invisible trail. After a mile George became really restless and Xhex halted again. She took a deep breath and let her sympath instincts loose.

Startled she opened her eyes. She had sensed two person ahead her, maybe 300 hundred yards away. The other' s grid was full of pain  and some kind of odd relief, the other was excited, aroused. She tied George to a tree and the tired dog gladly laid down.

Xhex dematerialized closer to the persons she had sensed and then it hit her. The scent of Shariel's blood was thick in the air, this was what George must have smelled too. Silently she followed the smell, her assassin skills very useful on a mission like this. She came to a edge of the forest, a clearing on a river bank.

There was Shariel, on her knees, a switchblade laying on the ground before her. Both of her sleeves were rolled up and her forearms were cut numerous times. And then there was the male, sympath, kneeled before the young female. "You started a party without me? You know, I can't allow it. I'm the one who decides when you bleed." The sympath bent his head and lifted Shariel's arms to his mouth. Groaning with pleasure, he started to lick the blood and close the wounds with his tongue. His arousal was palpable. Shariel screamed but she couldn't get away. She was still screaming when Xhex neared on them. The male was so wrapped up in his pleasure, that he didn't sense Xhex behind him. The moment he did, it was too  late. Xhex raised her dagger and cut his throat from ear to ear.

The male seemed surprised but he couldn't talk anymore. He grabbed his throat with both hands, the blood glucked between his fingers in crimson bursts, in time with his last heartbeats. He fell to the ground, his body twitched couple of times and then the male was still.

Shariel couldn't stop screaming, she was covered in blood splatters and and didn't recognize Xhex. All she saw were the female's red eyes that equaled danger. She tried to escape, but her ankle hurt so bad that she could only drag her body few yards before falling to the ground. When Xhex got on her haunches next to her, she passed out.

When she came to, Xhex was tearing her shirt to shreds and tying her wounds. Shariel panicked and tried to rip the makeshift bandages off. She clawed Xhex and cried and shouted:"You don't understand! I need to get it out! Please, let me bleed it out!" She was hysteric and Xhex wrapped her arms around her, trying to calm her. Little by little, Shariel's crying quieted into sobs and finally she laid feeble on her arms. Xhex took out her phone. Immediately she heard Wrath's deep voice, "Did you find her?"

"I did or actually George did. I need a pick up, we're about ten miles from the rest stop and she's in no shape to walk or move otherwise. She's lost blood. I can carry her but it'll take time. And we also need to get rid of her car."

"Okay. I'll send two doggens there with a flatbed and a ATV. You need any kind of backup?"

"No, but here at my coordinates is a body that needs to be dealt with."

"You just take care of her and I'll take care of everything else. Bring her home."

Xhex lifted Shariel off the ground and started the way back to the rest stop. On the way she stopped to release George, who led them back. Shariel cried quietly on each step as she laid on Xhex's strong arms.

* * * * * * *

Wrath sent the doggens to the coordinates Xhex had given and rose from his desk. "Leelan?"

Beth had dozed off on the sofa and woke up when she heard her hellren's voice. "I'm here."

"Can you help me find Phury? Xhex is bringing Shariel home."

"Oh..." Beth covered of mouth as tears of relief flooded her eyes. She hugged Wrath as he kissed the top of her head. "Let's go."

Wrath heard all the Brothers from the billiards room. There was no real game going on, no one could concentrate that much, just shuffling the balls to keep them busy. He stopped at the door and all the eyes were on him. "Shariel's been found. V, will you get Jane down to the clinic." There was a common sigh of relief,  she was on the way home. That had to be good.

"There's a body that needs to be disposed, soon as the sun sets. Here are the coordinates," he said and tossed a phone in the air. In swift move V caught the phone,  flexed his gloved fingers and replied with a dark voice:"Cop and I will take care of that."

Fritz kindly informed them that, he had seen Phury followed by Z, JM and the young males go to the direction of gym. It was near noon, so they had been there for hours already. Beth punched the access codes as they went into the underground tunnel.

When they came to the gym, Beth gasped. It was like hurricane had gone through the premises, punching bag was torn into pieces and Phury had used the shower room door as a practice target for his daggers.  JM sat on the bench watching Phury. When he noticed Beth, he signed: _Z's in the shower and the young ones went to grab something to eat and get bandage for Phury's hands. He's bleeding all over the place._

Phury stepped down from the treadmill, all of his muscles shaking from the hours of physical torment. His body was covered in sweat, the beautiful hair wet and tangled mess. But either he kept going or went mad from worrying.  When he saw his king and queen, he collapsed to the ground. "Please, no... don't let her be..."

Wrath walked to him and extended his arm to help his Brother up. "She's alive and on her way here with Xhex. Get your ass in the shower, she doesn't need to see you in this shape. I'll get Jane here."

* * * * * * *

The doggens had met them halfway with ATV and in no time they were back in the rest stop. Xhex laid Shariel on Jeep's back seat and George jumped in next to her. The doggens were left to load the Volvo on the flatbed and get rid of it later.

While she drove, she glanced every now and then in the review mirror to see, how Shariel was doing. Shariel drifted in and out of consciousness, not really able to focus on her surroundings. Finally they arrived at the underground garage. The doors blew open as Phury ran to the car and opened the door. He carefully lifted Shariel into his strong arms. "You're safe now. I won't let anything hurt you, ever again." Shariel sighed and leaned on her father's shoulder as he carried her into the clinic.

Soon as Xhex jumped out of the car, John Matthew swept her into his embrace and kissed the female. _Are you alright? What happened out there?_ They stepped into the corridor, where Wrath, Beth, Khalen and Ahgony stood waiting. Xhex told them, how George had led her to Shariel's trail and how she had found her and the sympath male. "She was there, on her knees, bleeding, trying to get the sympath blood out of her system... and then that fucking bastard came, accusing her of partying without him. And how she screamed when he started to lick her wounds... That sadistic asshole got off on her panic and pain." Khalen listened to her, anger boiling inside him. A low growl escaped him when he thought what Shariel had been through. He should have been there to keep her safe.

Xhex whirled her cilices that  JM had returned her. " I wish I could have given him more detailed lessons in pain. That fuck got the easy way out when I slit his throat."

* * * * * * *

Phury stood beside the exam table, holding on to his daughter. "Phury, you have to lower her on to the table so that I can treat her," Jane spoke in calm voice. But he didn't want to let go, just hold her in his arms. "Phury, she needs medical attention. I'll take good care of her and you can come back soon as we're ready, but now you're gonna have to let me and Ehlena tend to her."

Unwillingly he lowered her down gently and Jane guided him out of the room. In the corridor Phury hugged Xhex, who stood there with her hellren. "Thank you for bringing her back." Xhex hugged him back and left the males to get cleaned up and her cilices in place.

Phury slid to the floor and buried his face in his hands. "I couldn't keep her safe. I should have protected her and now..." his voice trailed off. Zsadist got on his haunches next to him, "You of all people should know, that you can't guard anyone all of the time. And it isn't like you just could lock her up in her room, she's grown up now, on the brink of her transition. You are the best father there can be and now the main thing is, that she's alive and home." Z put his arm on Phury's shoulder, it was his turn to be strong and keep his twin hanging on.

* * * * * * *

Jane covered Shariel on the hospita bedl. She had stitched the deepest wounds and put on IV for liquids to replace the blood she lost. The whole time Shariel had laid still, not a sound had come from her. She had obeyed Jane's and Ehlena's every request, lifter her arms, bend her knees, opened her thighs...She hadn't shown any emotion. She didn't care anymore. Her ruptures might be healing all right, but inside she was broken into million pieces.

* * * * * * *

The corridor was quiet. Phury and Zsadist stood shoulder to shoulder, leaning on the wall. Zsadist had Bella tucked under his arm, he couldn't even imagine how it'd  feel like if it was Nalla there, laying on that bed.  Khalen and Ahgony sat on the chairs someone had brought them. And then there were Wrath and Beth. They had come to pick up George and stayed for the news.

Finally Jane emerged from the examination room. She was serious, not showing any signs of relief. "She's lost a fair amount of blood, I've closed the wounds, but it will take time to recouperate. And her ankle, I've put a cast on that and it will heal well." 

She went to Phury and pulled him aside. She spoke to him in a low voice, this wasn't for everyone to hear. "How much do you know of what has happened to her?"

"V told me, what he had seen in her thoughts..."Phury's voice broke and his eyes flashed pitch black as he looked at Doc.

"My examination confirmed that. I'm so sorry. I'm worried about her mental state, what she's been through... she needs to talk to someone before she's consumed by the violence she's experienced. I'm afraid, that if she gives up, we'll lose her no matter what we do." Phury nodded, he was without words. Dear Virgin, he'd give up on his own life just to make this nightmare to go away.

Then Jane turned to face everyone, "Her transition is near, I believe mere days away and she's already weak. We need to have someone to feed her on standby and even then... I can't make any promises."

Wrath looked straight at Phury, even blind his eyes seemed to aim straight into his. "You'll name any of your Brothers and they won't refuse. I will feed her myself if it comes to that."

"Thank you my Lord, but I couldn't ask that, to put such a strain on your mated relationships."

"He will do it, we won't let her..." Beth's words faded, no one wanted to say it aloud, that there still was a chance that Shariel might die.

"I'll do it. If she'll have me, I feed her." Khalen said, a subtle hint of his bonding scent lingering in the air. He had dreamed of feeding Shariel so many times, but now his offer had nothing to do with those dreams. He wanted her to survive. If she refused him, he wouldn't fight but let someone else do it. If she chose one of his Brothers, he'd accept that too, though idea of that made his bonding scent burst out.

Phury came to Khalen and raised his arm to young male's shoulder. "Thank you Khalen, you're worthy male. Your blood is strong." And it was settled. Phury wouldn't let her decline the life Khalen would offer her.

"Can I see her?" Jane nodded. Zsadist gave Phury a pat on the shoulder before the male entered the room. Bella ushered the rest of them back to the mansion. They all needed the rest, and there was nothing they could do. They just had to rely on Shariel, that her will to live was strong enough to pull her through.


	6. Fighting the demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life has to go on and Shariel has to rely on the will of the others as her own is gone.

Phury went in and glanced at the bed. She seemed so small and fragile laying there. "Shariel?," he called her name quietly. There was no response. She just laid there, and didn't even look at her father, just stared at the opposite wall. Would she ever smile again? Phury turned out the lights, leaving only a small bedside lamp on and then sat on lounger beside the hospital bed, that had been brought there. He covered her daughter's small hand with his much bigger one and just held hers.

After watching over his still and silent daughter for what felt like eternity, Phury must had dozed off since he awoke  when he heard noise and hurried steps nearing the patient room. "Where is she? Where is my daughter?! Phury?!" Cormia's distressed voice echoed in the corridor. Phury rose to meet his shellan and opened the door, "Leelan, she is here." Phury kissed her on her lips and veins on her throat and led her to the bed. She gasped but then started to caress Shariel's hair and sing a lullaby, that she had sung her when Shariel was just a little girl. Shariel didn't say anything, but big tears flooded her eyes. "Shh, my precious. Just go to sleep..." Cormia soothed her and kept on singing quietly. Shariel seemed to relax and she finally fell asleep.

Cormia crawled on Phury's lap and he cradled her. In low voice he told her everything he knew. Cormia cried silently, Phury's wide chest absorbing her violent sobs. _How could this had happened to my little girl? Why did we let her go?_ She blamed herself, though she knew that, she couldn't shelter Shariel forever. There was a time for every parent to let their children go and fly on their own wings. But what if Shariel never flew again?

* * * * * * *

Butch and Vishous drove to the rest stop and unloaded the ATVs off the trailer. They drove to the coordinates Xhex had marked. When they arrived at the site, Butch coughed. The place reeked of blood. "Stench's too much , Cop?" Vishous grinned. The dead male laid there, where Xhex had dropped him. Butch took his phone, "Nah, I'll survive. I'll take a snapshot for Rehvenge, if he'd be able to identify him when he comes over tonight."

Butch took the photo and V looked around. "Hey, that must be Shariel's switchblade." He picked the bloodied blade, "Goddamn shame, that she couldn't use this on the asshole."

"You know those fuckers, they'll mess with your brain so bad. I hate to think... She must have been so fucking scared."

"True." Vishous lit his turkish tobacco and took off his glove. His hand's subtle glow turned into incinerating heat by his wrath and with just one touch, the sympath male was nothing more than ashes blowing in the night wind.

Back in the rest stop, after loading the ATVs back on the trailer, Butch leaned on the grill of the Escalade. He had his arms crossed over his chest, he turned to V, "There's more to this than just a sympath feeding and stalking her?"

V took a deep drag on his cigarette, then slowly blew the smoke out. "I really can't say."

"So, not denying it?"

"Cop, you've got to stop digging. I can't tell you. I'll just say this much, she's in a dark place right now."

"I gathered that much of what Khalen told me. Maybe he can help her? Perhaps Mary?"

"Maybe but I have to agree with Jane. If she doesn't fight, if she doesn't find the will within herself, nothing else matters."

* * * * * * *

Wrath sat behind his desk and spoke with Rehvenge, who had just arrived from the colony. "So, what do you need me for?"

"To make an identification. He's dead now, Xhex took care of that, but we'd like to know anyway."

"So he's been punished." Rehvenge said, leaning on his cane. He was sure, the male was no one from the colony up north. He knew everybody there, and there were no half-bloods. All the members of the colony were pure blooded sympaths, slowly dying from the inbreeding.

Right on cue, Butch and V marched in. "Hey, you smug bastard." V greeted the king of sympaths. "You missing someone from that cold kingdom of yours?"

Butch showed him the phone, "Ring any bells?"

Rehv looked at the picture and was now sure, that this half-blood came from somewhere else. He shook his head as he gave the phone back. "I'm glad that Xhex killed him and I'm sorry for what Shariel's been through. If there's anything I can do, other than enable my mate here as much as she's needed, let me know."

* * * * * * *

Well past midnight, doggens were clearing away the remnants of first meal. It was later than usual, but everyone had been so exhausted that they had simply slept through the usual time. Ahgony and Nalla still sat at the table as it was a night off for them all.

"Did she really try to kill herself?" Nalla asked Ahgony. She hadn't been to see Shariel as Jane had advised them to give her time to recover but Khalen had told her about the blade wounds.

"No, I don't think so. Xhex mentioned something of sympath's blood that she was trying to get out of her. I really don't know what has happened." Ahgony answered.

"My dad knows, but as you know, it's not specially hard for him to stay silent," Nalla said. "I asked him and he just said, that it's Shariel's business and not to be discussed with anyone other than herself."

"Yeah, all the secrets are safe with Z."

"You think she'll see me if I go down there?" Nalla asked.

"We can go together. I'll tell Fritz to save something for my mahmen and dad to eat and they can come up while we'll be by her side."

They went to the clinic and found Phury and Cormia by Shariel's bed. Shariel laid on her side, back to the door. She was aware, that her parents knew and that's why she couldn't look them into eyes, she was too ashamed and couldn't face the grief she had caused them.

 "You guys can go and stretch your legs a bit and eat. We'll sit here." Cormia and Phury hesitated for a moment but took up Ahgony's offer and left the room.

"Hi sis, you got to eat some," Ahgony  said and placed the hot chicken soup on the bed tray. He and Nalla sat on the edge of the bed. Shariel was still silent, she didn't even look at them. Nalla took her cold fingers and squeezed them lightly "We're here for you." No response. It was like Shariel had this invisible wall around her, isolating her from the rest of the world.

It tore Nalla apart to see her best friend like that and she just couldn't take it. She left the room in tears and run straight into massive body of John Matthew. He held a small cardboard box and quickly lifted it out of the way as Nalla bumped into him. "Sorry," she said.

JM took her by the shoulder and stopped her. _What happened?_

" She won't even look at me. She's my best friend! What the fuck has happened to her?!" Nalla was really shocked by the state her friend was in. It was like Shariel was just a shell, vacated body without a soul or life left in it.

Ahgony came out of the room. "Oh, hi JM. I thought Nalla was here by herself." John Matthew showed the muffin box and signed, that he was going to go see Shariel. "I don't know. She's far from ok. What my father told me, she hasn't said a word since your mate brought her home."

 _I'll go anyway._  Shariel sat on the bed, knees drawn up, her arms draped around them. The bed tray had been moved onto the bedside table. She glanced at JM, sighed but said nothing. She had always shared comfortable silences with John Matthew, no compelling need to sign or talk. Since she was little girl, JM had taken her to the Pit's roof to look at the stars, first accompanied with the fudge muffins and then later on, with six-pack of cold beer. It was JM who had taught her to shoot, they had spent countless hours in the range with Xhex. Her first driving lesson had been with JM on Qhuinn's Hummer. So yeah, John Matthew had taken his Ghuardian duty very seriously.

JM sat on the bed and placed the box between them. Then he touched her arm and signed: _Hi baby girl. I brought you our favorite ones. With fudge._ Shariel's eyes stayed on the muffins, so JM gently lifted her chin to look straight into her eyes. God, they were so empty.

Her gaze averted to the wall. She had always been able to talk about everything with JM, because sometimes as wonderful her parents were, they were just too close to share her innermost with. It was JM, whom she first told about her feelings for Khalen, way before she told Khalen himself. But now... she couldn't face the pain and the repulsion she thought she'd see in his eyes, if she told him. 

John Matthew touched her cheek so that he got her attention again. _You're stronger than this, please don't give up._ But he wasn't sure, if she received the message. As he rose to leave, he turned to Shariel and signed: _I will come back tomorrow, and every day. I'm your Ghuardian and I swore, when I held you for the first time, that I'd be there for you, always._

* * * * * * *

Khalen sat outside on the stairs of the mansion. He stared at the black sky, feeling the dawn nearing. The big door opened and Butch came out and sat next to him. He handed his son a beer and then took a long draught from his one. "You've been to see Shariel?".

Khalen nodded. "She doesn't even look at me. Not to mention talking. I'm air to her."

"You've got to give her time. I remember when we got Bella back from the lessers, before she and Z got mated. She was lost too for some time."

"What if she doesn't want to come back, but stays where ever the hell she's in right now?"

"We can't give up on her. You keep going to her, even if she doesn't say it, it matters. You matter. We just got to be strong for her."

"I can't lose her. I love her."

"I know you do. But sometimes you've got to fight for your love. And sometimes you've got to wait. I was miserable too, before I finally got your mahmen all to myself."

"Yeah, you've told that stalker story hundred times."

"And look at me and your mahmen now. I believed in us even though she had her doubts. I'm so glad that she eventually came to her senses and saw that I truly loved her. Now you've got to do the same, keep the faith for the both of you."

"I know. And I will. Thanks for the beer." Khalen rose and went inside, while Butch crossed the yard to the Pit to be welcomed by the scent of ocean, his lovely mate.

* * * * * * *

Shariel sat on the hospital bed. Three nights, it had been three nights since she was rescued. Ehlena had just been there to get the IV out and she was free to leave the clinic. She wanted to go home, but her father had insisted that she'd stay in the mansion until her transition. There were no males other than himself at the Great Camp, so whoever fed her, would be at the here. But she didn't want to be fed. Khalen had come every dawn, just sat there beside her bed for an hour or two. He had tried to talk, but since he got nothing out of her, he had stayed quiet.

There was a knock at the door and John Matthew stepped in. _I'm here to help you to your room. Fritz has prepared you one next to mine._ And without waiting for a reply, JM scooped her into his arms and carried to the mansion. He was worried, she had lost so much weight. She had nibbled on those muffins, but other than that, he hadn't seen her eat. As he put her down on the bed in her new room, he brought her a tray. _Fritz made this following Wellsie's recipe. It helped me before my transition, and you're gonna eat it now.  
_

Shariel glared at him, but took the lid off the plate. Delicious smell wafted in the air and for the first time Shariel felt little hungry. JM sat on the chair opposite her and gestured that she'd better start eating. And she did, rice and ginger sauce practically melted on her tongue. JM was right, it really helped and she ate the whole plateful. _Good girl. Feelin' better? You're gonna be stuck with me since Phury's on rotation_   _tonight._ Shariel watched her Ghuardian, he definitley had something on his mind.

 _Come on, Xhex is waiting,_ JM signed and went to the door. "Waiting for what? Where?"

 _At the range. Come on now._  Shariel pushed the tray away, "I don't want to shoot anything. I don't want to go. Just leave me the fuck alone!"

 _Nice to hear your voice. But you don't get to vote. Shoot, don't shoot, I don't give a rat's ass. You're leaving this room._ JM handed her crutches. _Either you walk or I'll carry you._ Shariel saw, that she had no choice. And really, she had no energy to fight. If her Ghuardian thought that going to the range would help her, she'd let him keep his delusion.

At the range, Xhex was already waiting and she handed Shariel the Glock butt first. "Hi, I'm glad you decided to come. Come with me, shoot a few rounds." Shariel hesitated, but took the gun and earmuffs. She sat on a tall barstoll at the end of the range and stared at the target. Extra clips were placed on the counter. Xhex came behind her and whispered to her ear, "I've been in a dark place too and it helped me, that I had the chance to kill the fucker who put me there. Your chance to that is gone, but it still helps, to imagine shooting him."          

Shariel raised her gun, she heard as both Xhex and JM fired theirs on the ranges both sides of hers. She aimed at the target and after a minute or two, fired. She felt nothing, except the gun's kick vibrating  along her arm. What a fucking waste of time. But since she was here, she could shoot few more rounds, right? She aimed again and fired, and again and again. Suddenly she wasn't at the range anymore. As she fired and fired her gun, changing empty clips into full ones, she lost her surroundings. In her mind she stared at the red eyes and she shot him. Again and again. She heard  evil laughter of the men raping her and Shariel fired. She didn't know how many clips she had emptied, she continued shooting until her whole body shook under the strain. Tears flooded down her cheeks and exhausted she fell to the ground, crying.

JM kneeled next to her and gently eased her fingers off the Glock. Then he closed her in his arms and just held her. "I couldn't stop them... He just stood there and watched... I couldn't stop them..." Shariel sobbed. JM looked Xhex over Shariel's head, pain in his eyes and his mate nodded. Shariel had been through the hell they both knew so damn well.

Xhex laid her hand on Shariel's shoulder, "Shh... it wasn't your fault. Whatever you're thinking right now...It was not your fault."

Shariel had her eyes on the floor and she ripped herself away from JM and Xhex. She didn't believe them. If she'd only been more careful, if she'd only stayed home, maybe her jeans were too tight and her shirt's neckline too low... But somehow she must had triggered it, give out some indication, that... She tried to make it to the door but wasn't able to stand without her crutches. She was stopped by the wall of muscles when John Matthew stepped in front of her. He lifted her chin so that she had to look what he was signing. _No_ _t. Your. Fault. Those fuckers had no right to do what they did. You hear me? You're still worthy._ And then he hugged her tightly and watching them, Xhex felt the need to kill the sympath all over again.

After a while, Shariel gathered herself and drank the water Xhex gave her. Timidly she looked at her Ghuardians. "How can you say that? You know I'm damaged goods..."

Xhex grabbed her wrist tight, "You are not damaged goods, that wasn't your decision to get raped. If anyone as much as hints, that you're to blame, I will kill that bastard. And no, Shariel, I'm not fucking kidding."

 _This is why you broke up with Khalen?_ JM asked. Shariel nodded. "I couldn't face the repulsion in his eyes when he found out what had happened. I had to cut him loose, give him a chance to be with a worthy female. And... and he has needs... what if I'm never able to..." and the tears fell again.

_You've got to stop this bullshit with you not being worthy! Goddamnit Shariel! And it never occurred to ask him what he thought? If he truly loves you, he'll understand. You will get through this!_

"No! And he doesn't know, he doesn't need to anymore. So just drop it." Shariel stood up, wiped her eyes and took her crutches and limped out of the range. She needed to rest, her whole body ached and her head was killing her.

* * * * * * *

Phury and Z walked along the side street downtown Caldwell, when they both felt their phones vibrating. They got a message from Blay that backup was needed. They dematerialized to the given coordinates and when they arrived to the dirty alley, the fight was in full motion. Blay, Qhuinn and Tohr were in the middle of bunch of lessers, there were maybe dozen of them. And these were all white haired, no newbies tonight.

Phury felt the adrenaline kick in, all the pent up anger racing through his body. His muscles bulged, his features cold and hard as steel. All the gentleness that was so familiar to his character, was gone. He was a warrior, lethal and ready to kill. Phury engaged the fight with a roar. He took a hold of a lesser's head just as it was going to stab Qhuinn and slit its throat. "You finish him." he growled at stunned Qhuinn. Another lesser attacked him, stabbing his thigh and Phury welcomed the pain, as if it recharged him. Phury was like a hurricane moving among the lessers, but unlike a tornado, he made no random moves. His daggers moved like they had a life of their own, slicing through the lesser's bodies. Phury felt content to see the black blood flow, the sight of the massacre strengthening him.

He saw Tohr wounded and pinned between a wall and lesser, his dagger on his feet. Phury charged the lesser and tore him to the ground. He straddled the bastard and hit him with his dagger again and again. He saw nor heard anything. He just thought of his daughter and how he hadn't been able to save her. He'd save Tohr. With each stab through the lesser, he thought of killing that sympath. Every time his dagger tore through the soft flesh, in his mind he cut up the one who had made Shariel suffer.

He was covered in black blood, when he felt two sets of strong hand grabbing his shoulders and lifting him off the lesser. "He's dead. You can let go now, he's dead." Blay stabbed the lesser back to his maker and Phury stood frozen between Zsadist and Qhuinn. Slowly, he came back from the dark place he'd been in and heard Z's deep voice, soothing him. "He's dead. Let's get back to the mansion, Tohr needs few stitches." Maybe few more, since there was a long gash on his shoulder and you could see white bone shining from the gaping wound. Blay tore his shirt and wrapped it around Tohrment's wound. "The Hummer's a block away. I'll get it and then we can get the fuck outta here."

* * * * * * *

Back at the mansion Phury beelined straight to the gym's locker room. He needed a shower and as a rule, he always changed his fighting gear at the mansion. He wanted to keep the Great Camp a safe haven, where the ugly war was left outside. He showered thoroughly, wanting to get that lesser stink out of his skin. After showering, he changed into his slacks and a button down. There was still few hours before sunrise, he had time to see his daughter.

He heard the TV through the door and without knocking, he opened it. The room was dark, TV was on, and he smelled the rice and ginger sauce. Good, she had eaten something. Then he turned to the bed. Shariel laid there, not in peaceful sleep but tossing around vigorously. She breathed hard, her hands flailing, like she fought something. Phury ran to the bed and careful not to scare her, woke her up. For a moment she just stared her eyes wide open, seeing only the horrors in her head. He caressed her hair and held her against his chest until her breathing became steady and the beads of sweat dried. They didn't say a word, the other feeling that she had caused enough pain already and the other one feeling so guilty that he was out of words. Luckily, actions spoke volumes and Shariel felt safe on her father's arms. After a while, she drifted back to sleep and Phury carefully tucked her in, kissing her forehead before leaving the room.

In the hallway he leaned on the wall, balling his fists. Oh, how he missed the red smoke. He just needed a small toke, one little blunt to stifle the feelings. He closed his eyes, now the sweat was beading on his forehead. _Dear Virgin, I'm such a loser. Like the wizard told me, I could never leave him behind. The need to smoke is always there. Who am I fooling? Everything I love, everything I touch, turns to shit. I always fuck up and betray those who rely on me. First Z, then I almost ruined Cormia and now... Shariel. I have lived almost 27 decades and still constantly someone is let down by me. Why couldn't I keep her safe?_

Phury was startled and opened his eyes when he felt a touch on his shoulder. "You alright?"  Z asked. Bella had stopped too, they were on their way to their room. Z nodded to Bella and she continued on her way. Phury's fists were so tight, his knuckles were white. "Cravings? Is it that bad?"

Phury couldn't say a word, he just needed the goddamn red smoke. Zsadist grabbed his shoulders with both of his hands and looked him straight in the eye. "I know what's going on in your mind right now. The guilt is uncalled-for. And the cravings? They'll pass, you just got to sit it through. Go to your female, let her take care of you. Shariel will pull through and that's not despite what you've done, but because of it. You've raised your kids well and your an excellent father. Now, go home Phury."

"Thank you, Z." Phury whispered, but his twin had already strode to his room. Phury went downstairs and dematerialized home.

* * * * * * *

At the Great Camp, Phury stood at the front porch. His hands were shaking, it had never been this bad before after he quit. But Zsadist was right, he would truly  fuck up if he gave into his addiction now. There would be no turning back if he took that step, the damage done would be unrepairable. And he didn't want that, so he opened the door. Few Chosen were still up, watching TV but other than that, the house was quiet. He went to the upstairs and opened the door to their bedroom. Cormia slept in the middle of their bed, hugging his pillow. Why couldn't he be as confident as his mate was? She believed in him and in their daughter's recovery. God, he needed her strength.

He closed the door and hovered by the bed. He was so fucking cold he shivered. Cormia opened her eyes, sensing her mate was there. "Come to bed nallum." Phury undressed and crawled under the covers. He loved the feel of Cormia's warmth against his freezing body. He buried his face in the crook of neck, smelling her intoxicating scent and trying to find solace.

Cormia woke up properly, when she felt the roaming hands of her mate on her body, tracing her figure as if he needed to assure himself that she was real. "Phury?" Cormia whispered into his hair.

"I'm so cold, please warm me, let me feel you, all the way." She heard the desperation in his voice. She draped her arms around his wide shoulders and opened her thighs to accommodate him, as close as possible. Phury sought her lips, kissing her tenderly first but then the kiss turned into demand, his tongue sliding between her lips, feeling her fangs. Cormia gasped. Phury loved the feel of her hot mouth, her fangs scraping his tongue, her moans. She felt her own need, brushed her breasts against his muscled chest and arched her hips when she felt his hard erection against her thigh.

Phury moved from her lips to her neck and then put his big hand on her breasts. "I love that you sleep naked." He massaged her breast, letting his thumbs caress her hardened nipples. Then lowered his head and swirled his tongue on her breasts, making her pant. Cormia pushed him up, made him sit on his haunches and crawled on to his lap. She kissed him hard, sucked his lower lip into her mouth and bit down drawing blood. Phury's cock dripped between them, pulsing so hard in its swollen beauty. Cormia raised her hips and made Phury growl when her breasts touched his chest. She took his cock into her hand and guided him to her entrance. Phury couldn't hold back anymore, in one swift move he entered her, up to the hilt. They both stilled, breathed hard, savoring the moment of being so close to each other.

Cormia leaned back on dug her hands into his massive thighs as Phury started to move. He knew he wouldn't last long when he watched himself plummeting again and again into the sweet, wet hotness of Cormia, her beautiful, perk breasts swaying in time with his thrusts. Cormia's orgasm was already near, her nails biting deeper into his muscles. Phury grabbed her hips and without losing contact, he flipped her under him, supported himself with his arms as he watched how pleasure took over his mate. With few powerful thursts he pushed Cormia over the edge, her release clenching his cock. And that was all it took, with a growl he pushed to the hilt, veins in his neck bulging as he came, his whole body convulsing as his cock pulsed inside Cormia, filling her.

As the waves of their orgasm subsided, Phury rolled to over and scooped Cormia into his embrace. Cormia kissed him and quietly caressed his arms as he pulled the covers over them. She was Phury's safe haven and entwined like this, they were sheltered from the cold world outside.


	7. Always a chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shariel still struggles. She is almost consumed by the darkness inside her and her transition doesn't make things any easier. Khalen feels lost too, not knowing what to do or how to feel. In the end only one thing matters; whose will is the strongest?  
> *********************************************************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you a thousand times Peridot_Lyoness for beta reading this last chapter! It was fun working with you and I truly appreciate your views on my story. Your corrections made all the difference to the story flow.  
> *****************************************************************************************************************************

Bella came out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel, when she stopped. Z was still fully dressed, combat boots on his feet, sitting on the edge of their bed. He stared at the floor, rubbing the slave tattoo on his wrist. Carefully Bella came to him and touched his face: "Zsadist?"

Z lifted his head and wrapped his arms around her waist: "He's very close to a downward spiral and there's nothing I can do about it." Bella sighed and hugged her mate: "You can't blame him. This must be hell for him and Cormia."

"Is it some kind of curse following  Phury and I? The ones we love always getting hurt. First it was me, then you and now Shariel. Scribe knows Phury has done enough saving to last a lifetime."

"We've talked about this a lot, there's nothing you could have done to stop David from kidnapping me. And you could have not prevented this from happening to Shariel. It's impossible to live thinking about what could have been. What has happened, it's past and we've got to figure out the way to survive in the present."

Zsadist traced her stomach with a feather-light touch:"I still see the carving on your stomach, his name. Fuck Bella, I still see Phury on that goddamn table, ready to die for us. And now... I should have been there for her, she's my niece and I owed Phury that. " Bella kissed him deep:"You are there for him and Shariel now. That's what matters. You can't change the past, only the future."

Shariel woke to the sounds of First Meal. The mansion was a bit crowded these days, noise at meals carrying all the way to the second floor. Her head was still killing her and she felt a bit feverish too, and remembering what she'd told JM and Xhex the night before didn't make her feel any better. How could she face them ever again? Bile rose to her mouth. She had so fucking screwed everything up.

She didn't have much time to dwell on it when someone knocked on her door. "It's open", she said, although everyone seemed to come and go as they pleased, in the name of helping her. Well, not everyone, but those closest to her. Jane came in: "I'm heading to the clinic and I thought you could come too. We'll take the cast off, replace it with boot cast, then you can shower. And besides, with your transition so near, everything will heal perfectly once you go through it."

Since a shower sounded better than good, Shariel just nodded, took her crutches and followed Jane to the clinic. When they reached the exam room, Shariel stopped at the door. Vishous sat behind the desk and when he lifted his eyes from the computer screen, Shariel just froze, averting her gaze. "I can't... maybe we can do this another time..." and she started to back off.

Jane stared at her: "Why? We'll just quickly take the cast off." But Shariel couldn't be in the same room with V, not now, when she knew that Vishous had actually seen everything the night he read her thoughts. It was just too much. Far worse than only knowing. And Shariel knew from his frustrated sigh, that he knew exactly what was going on in her mind. "It's alright, I'll continue this later." Vishous stood up and almost touched her on his way out, but then decided not to, his hand already raised. "You take care, Shariel," he just said, his deep voice resonating in Shariel's ears.

When the door closed after him, Shariel finally looked back at a somewhat confused Jane. "Please, don't," Shariel asked when Jane was about to ask something, "Just saw the cast off and give me the boot, and I'll be off."

She thanked Jane and wobbled back to the mansion. The ankle was sore, but it felt good to have only the boot cast on. She would definitely take that shower. Shariel slowly climbed the stairs and went to her room. She was actually a bit hungry, but eating in the dining room with others... no fucking way. No matter that only few people knew what had happened on her vacation, she couldn't stay here and tarnish the meal with her being.

Her room was dark, light of the moon shed on the walls. She walked to the window. The room felt hot and she opened the high, double glass doors. The view to the courtyard was almost as beautiful as was view of the backyard. You could see the forest surrounding the mansion, the great wall protecting  its inhabitants, and V's mhis  wrapped all around it, like a dream. The fountain in the middle of the yard was still on and the waterflow sounded soothing. The wind whirled in and made her skin get goosebumps.

She smelled the crisp night air and looked into the horizon, to the dark blue night sky calling her name. This was probably what eternity was like, night like dark velvet wrapping around you, soothing breeze whispering in your ear. Shariel walked to the windowsill, wincing as her ankle ached when she stepped up on the stone lip. She held on to the window frames and leaned forward. She knew she was high enough to end it all. The wind seemed to blow harder now, as if encouraging her to join the darkness.

Shariel braced herself. She was aware of the limitations imposed by gravity on her body. But she could spread her arms and let go. She just wanted the oblivion. Just as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, someone stormed behind her, a hoarse "NO!" echoing in the room and then strong arms held her down. For a short moment she let herself mold against the familiar body, inhaling the scent she used to love. But that passed quickly and she turned around in anger: "You can't save me!"

Khalen was out of breath, his wide chest pumping from the adrenaline rush. He swept back his long hair, his voice gravel:"I... you can't...please..." no coherent words, just mumble. He raised his hand and traced her jawline, thumb brushing over her lower lip. Shariel wanted to close her eyes, she felt the need to lean on the strong hand, relish the feel of long fingers on her face. But she stared at the wall, standing still as if the male had no effect on her. Khalen took away his hand, stepped around her and closed the window. Standing there, his back at her, he whispered: "I can try. I love you, Shariel."

Shariel's throat was tight and she fought back tears. She knew that if she looked into the depth of his hazel eyes she would believe him. The life she could have with him... but now was not the time to dwell on that, they both had to move on. She would be deceiving herself if she thought otherwise. "Fuck you, Khalen. Go play the prince and damsel in distress with someone else. I'll take a shower now, so just leave!" And with that, she went to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

Khalen stumbled out of the room; he was so fucking confused. He knew, that for a tiny moment, Shariel had wanted to lean on him. But it had passed quickly, and if he didn't know her so well, he'd have missed it. What was he supposed to do now? If she didn't want his help, then it had to be someone else. Fucking hell! The female he loved had just... Khalen couldn't bring himself to think of the outcome if he hadn't been there in time  to grab Shariel.

Then he thought of John Matthew. He was the only one Shariel seemed to let get close to her. Or maybe it was that JM was persistent enough, and as her Ghuardian, he did as he pleased, not taking any shit from Shariel. Whatever. Khalen needed to speak with him before talking to Phury.

Khalen heard the shower turned on and headed then to look for John Matthew. He didn't have to go far, as the warriors that had been on duty that night emerged from Wrath's office. JM was deep in conversation with Qhuinn. Khalen whistled. Immediately John Matthew looked up and saw him. He must have looked pretty alarmed, because JM strode straight to him, signing on the way to Qhuinn to go on without him.

"It's... shit, JM," Khalen had trouble speaking, his voice so hoarse. JM gripped his shoulders and  then signed:" _What is it?_ _Breathe, man_ " _._  Khalen took a deep breath and began:"I just caught Shariel standing on a windowsill, the window was open and... I don't know what. But she... She won't let me help. Maybe you - " Khalen didn't have time to finish his sentence when John Matthew already tore down the hallway into Shariel's room.

She waited until she heard him leave before looking into the mirror. She sure wasn't a pretty sight. It looked like she'd been on a two week bender. And she felt exactly like that too, her whole body trembling from what had just occurred. Had she really wanted to die? She had no answer. She just knew that she couldn't go on feeling like this. It was too much.  Shower, she needed a shower right now. She took off her boot cast and clothes and turned on the water. The cool water felt wonderful on her hot skin. She relished the water falling down on her back, washing over her. She turned the water colder and colder, but still she felt the burn, like she was standing on a pile of red hot coals. Then the first wave of pain hit her, like she had a ball of fire in the pit of her stomach, and she doubled over in agony.

What was this? Was it the sympath's blood still in her body affecting her? She didn't have much time to dwell on her thoughts when the second wave hit her, hurting her more than the first one and she fell down on her knees.

In the Great Camp Cormia and Phury were finishing their First Meal with the Chosen. After spending yet another night at his mates embrace, Phury felt confident again. They'd make it, together they were strong. "Come, leelan, shall we go see our daughter?", Phury swept Cormia into his arms and kissed her lips gently. She gasped and nodded. Saying their goodbyes to the Chosen, they stepped outside and dematerialized to the Brotherhood mansion.

JM didn't see Shariel but then he heard a cry of pain coming from the bathroom. Quickly he ran to her. Shariel was there, naked on her knees, holding her stomach. When she saw John Matthew, she covered her breasts and hissed: "Go away! I'm fucking naked!". JM didn't give a shit about that, although Phury might not be that pleased that he had seen her buck naked. He took her bathrobe and stepped to the shower. He turned the water off and covered Shariel. Shariel moaned in pain, which grew worse with every wave.

JM carried her to the bed and whistled. Khalen appeared on the door. " _Call Phury. Her transition has begun._ " Then he turned to Shariel as she squeezed his hand. "Don't... please leave me. This all will be over soon... Just go and close - " She had to stop talking as the pain hit her again, leaving her panting shallowly.

" _Stop fucking talking like that! Khalen just told me what happened here. You wanna fuckin' die?!?_ " JM was furious, his hands flying in the air. "I don't know, I really don't. But I can't... I'm ruined, tarnished in a way.." Now Shariel was crying. John Matthew shook her. " _You can't let what happened define you! That is not who you are. You are still you, worth everything. All the people here love and care about you. You've got trust us to be there for you. You've got to give life a chance, time will heal and numb the pain. I know._ "

Shariel hugged her Ghuardian. She so wanted to believe him. But the darkness inside her, it seemed to take over and she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to fight it.

Khalen fumbled for his phone when he saw Phury and Cormia on the stairs. "Phury! I was just about to call you. It's Shariel, her transition -". And again Khalen was cut short, when Phury and Cormia rushed to their daughter. JM let Cormia take his place holding Shariel. "Mahmen, it hurts!", Shariel cried as felt the hot needles of pain go through her abdomen. "Shh, darling. We'll see you through this," Cormia soothed her and spoke to Phury, "Go get Khalen, now!".

In the hallway Khalen leaned on the wall, waiting, when Phury called for him:"Shariel needs to feed, my brother."

Khalen pushed himself off the wall and quickly tied his hair to a bun. He couldn't help himself, but the thought of Shariel biting his jugular with her new fangs made him breathe hard and his cock pulse. This was what he had been waiting for, what he had promised Phury to do.

Shariel gasped when she saw the male in the door way, hair in a sloppy bun on top of his head, worn jeans and tight t-shirt hugging his figure. His muscles tensed and hazel eyes were full of want and anticipation. Shariel's body had an immediate reaction to him, bloodlust making her mouth dry as if she was starving under the desert sun. The burning sensation seared her insides so bad that she could hardly breathe as she twisted the sheets with her hands. But aloud she said:"No, not him. I don't want him."

Khalen neared the bed:"Why do you hate me so much that you won't let me help you?"

Shariel looked at her father:"You haven't told him, have you?" A bitter laugh escaped her lips: "Wouldn't it only be fair, that he knew what kind of female he was offering his vein to?"

"Shh, nalla. It doesn't matter, not now. Let him feed you," Phury said.

"I know who you are. You are the one I love," Khalen extended his arm to Shariel, but she backed from him with such a force that she fell out of the bed. When Khalen tried to help her up, she screamed:"Don't touch me! I'm not the one you love. She's gone! Believe me, you don't want me in your life!"

Khalen watched how the hunger burned in Shariel's gaze and still, she tried to get away from him. "I don't understand," he said as he looked at the shivering female, "Even if you don't want me, take my blood."

"I can't and I won't. I won't risk you bonding to me. You need to save that for someone worthy." Shariel crawled away from him, until she hit the wall.

"I don't fucking understand this constant talk about what I need! You are worthy, and to me, always perfect!" Khalen couldn't hold his anger back. Why all of a sudden Shariel belittled herself?

Khalen's anger gave Shariel strength and she yelled:" I fucking say it because it's true! Look at me Khalen! I was raped! In a fucking filthy side alley, with a sympath watching, making it happen! I'm fucking ruined!"

Phury lowered his head and embraced shivering Cormia. Her feet didn't hold her up and without her male, she would have collapsed to the floor. Shariel was yelling out things that no parent ever wanted to hear happening their children. Her words were like burning arrows, flying across the room and hitting the bull's eye.

Khalen stumbled back as if someone had hit him. He had trouble breathing. He was hurting on behalf of Shariel. He closed his eyes as he leaned on the wall. He heard Shariel's mocking voice:"I told you. Now that you know, even the thought of me makes you sick. Father, get somebody else."

JM who had stood in by the door, rolled up his sleeves:" _I'll do it. It's my duty to keep her alive_."

Suddenly the air in the room changed and a low growl filled the space."I and only I will feed her." Khalen's words were like a warning as he stood in the middle of the room, his fangs bared. The air rippled around him and no one in right mind dared to stop him as he strode to Shariel.

Shariel sat against the wall. The fireball in her stomach grew and she was sure that flames were coming out her mouth as she breathed shallowly. When Khalen sank to his haunches next to her and bit his own wrist, Shariel turned her head away:"I have no right...I don't want that every time you look at me, you feel repulsed by me. I've lost something I wanted to share with you, only with you." She pursed her lips, holding back tears she didn't want to cry and holding back hunger she didn't want to sate. Not with Khalen. But then she collapsed and Cormia screamed her name.

"Don't you dare die on me! Feed now!" Khalen yelled and put his bleeding wrist on Shariel's mouth. A small drop of blood hit her tongue and that was enough. Biology took over and Shariel opened her mouth and fed. On the background Phury and Cormia gave a sigh of relief but all that Shariel cared about was the blood, elixir of life that extinguished the fire inside her. And she had to grab that wrist with both hands to ensure that the enticing liquid didn't escape her reach. And that's when it happened. The thing that Shariel had feared most. Powerful, warm scent of spices and crisp mountain air filled the room. Khalen's bonding scent. Big, hot tears rolled down her cheeks, but she couldn't stop feeding. Khalen's blood was too intoxicating.

Khalen relaxed as he felt Shariel feed. He leaned against the wall and drew her into his embrace. He looked over her head to Phury and Cormia. They nodded in acceptance. This was right, he holding the female he loved as his bonding scent enveloped them. He felt her tears on his wrist and that made the anger boil inside him. He forced the feeling to disappear because Shariel shouldn't feel scared right now. This moment should be free of hatred.

Shariel had no idea of how much time had passed when she released his wrist. The burn was gone, the hunger sated.  Her skin tingled and veins hummed as the male's blood took over her body. Her eyes were heavy as she lifted her gaze to Khalen. He bend his head and pressed a light kiss on her forehead before lifting her to the bed. Shariel let her head fall to the pillow and she relaxed until she felt the sharp pain. She screamed as she drew her knees up to her chest. Khalen took her hand and talked soothingly to her in a deep voice as Shariel laid there in a bundle. This was going to be a long night.

Hours later she finally stilled. She looked at an exhausted Khalen and felt remorse. What had she done to the male? Quietly, without looking at him, she said:"Thank you. Your duty is done and you can go now." When Khalen was about to protest, Shariel hushed him:"Don't. Just leave and know  that I require nothing from you. I didn't want you bonding with me. Please leave." Khalen covered her and stretched his numb body, his heart feeling as numb:"There are many things I regret in life but feeding you isn't one of them." Phury, who had stood with Cormia on the other side of the bed, came around it and hugged Khalen and said hoarsely:"Thank you for giving my daughter the gift of life. My shellan and I are forever grateful. You go feed now and get some sleep. I've called Delilah. She'll be waiting in your room. We'll watch over her." Cormia hugged Khalen tightly and whispered:"Thank you." Khalen nodded. He was tired and in dire need to feed. Shariel had fed fiercely and, though he didn't want to admit it, he was feeling a bit weak.

Shariel woke the next evening, the pain was gone and she felt rejuvenated. She turned her head and saw his father sleeping in the recliner. Her mahmen had crawled up on his lap and slept too, her head buried in the crook of his neck. Phury had his arms around Cormia, protecting her even in his sleep. Shariel couldn't help wonder if she would ever have the same, such a deep and unconditional love as her parents shared. Then she thought of Khalen bonding to her and it nauseated her. Bonding was involuntary; it didn't automatically mean happily ever after. And Khalen had lost his one chance to bonding and was forever bound to her, even if... if they weren't meant to be.

First Meal was well on its way. JM looked around, then he saw Khalen, who'd just stood up from the table and stretched his arms while talking to Ahgony. JM walked up to the young male and tapped his shoulder. _Follow me._ Khalen looked little puzzled, but since JM definitely held authority over him, he followed the black-haired male.

They went to the kitchen and JM whistled softly to get Fritz's attention. _You have the meal ready?_ "Yes, sir. I have it all here." Fritz turned around and then handed him a tray with a covered plate on it. JM took it and gave it to Khalen. "What I'm supposed to do with this?"

_"That's Shariel's. Take it to her. It's time you start to take care of her._ " Anger flared inside Khalen as he stared at John Matthew. "She doesn't want me around. How the fuck am I supposed to take care of her?"  Then he had to take a step back when he looked at JM again. Holy shit, those eyes were ice-cold and full of menace. " _This isn't about you, asshole! It's about her. She needs to find her way back from that hellhole of hers. And you've got to be the light she aims for. I know she loves you, I knew even before you did, and if you love her, you'll be there for her. If you can't, then bugger off but don't think for a minute that, once you leave, you can come back. You don't deserve her, if you give up now._ "

Khalen watched as JM hands moved fast, stunned about what he had to say. When JM finally stopped, Khalen cleared his throat, still holding the tray. Sighing he answered:"I do love her. And I want to be there for her. I'm just lost. What can I do when she wants to have nothing to do with me?" " _Start with this,_ " JM tapped the tray. " _Literally take care of her, bring her food, stay with her and tolerate the silence. It all matters._ " Then he pushed Khalen out of the kitchen towards the staircase.

Slowly Khalen ascended the stairs, mulling over what JM had said. It was pretty much the same that his father had told him. Maybe JM's message was a bit more straight forward. Still he was afraid as he neared Shariel's room. What if she actually didn't love him anymore? What if he was never able to reach her again? Yep, he sure had legit reasons to be scared.

Khalen knocked at the door and heard Phury tell him to enter. Shariel looked better. Actually she was radiant and it was his blood doing that. When Shariel noticed him, she raised her hand:"Stop. I told you not to come back." Khalen remembered John Matthew's words and braced himself as he walked to the bed:"I brought you food. Let's  start with that. Nothing else." Khalen had dreamed of feeding Shariel her first meal after the transition, but now he just settled to watch as she hungrily ate the bacon and dark chocolate mousse Fritz had prepared for her. As he gave Shariel her coffee mug, their fingers brushed and he couldn't hold back a small groan and flare of his bonding scent.

Phury and Cormia rose to leave and they said their goodbyes to Shariel. At the door Phury pulled Khalen aside and put his large hands on the male's shoulders:"You are bonded to her now, and if she chooses you as her mate, I have nothing against that, on the contrary. I trust that now that you know the truth, you will treat her right." And then the hands on Khalen's shoulders turned into iron pliers, Phury's eyes flashed black and his warrior's body rippled with menace, as if he was a loaded gun pointed at Khalen, "But know this, if I ever have a reason to believe that you're not worthy of her or that you're hurting her...Being tortured by Omega is a fucking joyride compared to the ride to hell I'll give you before your die." Khalen swallowed hard and nodded.  He had no doubt that death by Phury would be anything but quick and merciful.

Khalen stayed. They didn't talk but shared an odd silence. Khalen stayed until Shariel fell asleep. The next evening he brought her food again. And she ate it. On the fourth night, after his patrol duty, he took her for a walk in the woods behind the mansion. They shared a few words, nothing too deep but it was a start. In a week they fell into a routine. Khalen brought her the First Meal and then, after returning from his Brotherhood duties, he took her for a walk. Sometimes they held hands, sometimes they just walked shoulder to shoulder, sometimes a brief, light kiss, a feather-light touch of lips.

Three weeks after her transition they had made progress and Shariel and Khalen were laying on her bed, watching a movie. Shariel leaned on his shoulder and Khalen had his arm around her. It felt so good to be near her, and he wanted to kiss her, to devour that mouth of hers. His fangs elongated on the thought alone, but he didn't even lift a finger. This had to be on her terms.

Shariel woke up, startled, from her dream when something heavy draped over her legs, trapping her. The male nestled against her back and drew her closer to him. She felt a long, hard ridge pushing against her ass. The scream, that woke Khalen up, was high enough to shatter glass. Quickly he lifted his leg off Shariel and tried to fend her when she screamed and fought with her fists against her attacker in the pitch black room. Shariel bent her leg and kicked the male so hard that he fell off the bed. She saw nothing. In her mind she was again back in the alley and couldn't tell reality from the dream.

Khalen jumped from the floor and switched the light on. Shariel was shivering at the end of her bed, embracing herself in a tight bundle. She was pale and panting. Khalen felt anger rise inside him when he thought what had caused this to Shariel. Anyone who touched her and her body other than to worship her, deserved to die. Shariel looked at him with wild eyes:"How dare you? You think, that you could just... Go, Khalen! I need to be alone, this isn't working!" When Khalen approached her, she hissed:"Just fucking leave!"

After Khalen left, Shariel just sat on the bed and waited the panic to fade. Once she could think clearly again, she was so ashamed. What the fuck had she done? Khalen had been nothing but nice, loving, respectful and a gentlemale all this time. Shariel got out  and went looking for JM. She just needed to talk someone and JM was her first choice. The male never judged her and he always listened, properly and without interruptions. And she felt safe with her Ghuardian. She knocked on his door but there was no answer and when she went downstairs, he wasn't in the billiards room either.

She heard talking from the kitchen and when she opened the door, there were Beth and JM, beer bottles in front of them and a pile of sandwiches between them. Shariel turned away to leave because she didn't want to rob the siblings of their down time. But then she heard JM's whistle and looked at him over her shoulder. _You wanna join us?_ Shariel shook her head. Beth seemed to understand from her face that she needed her Ghuardian and rose taking her beer and plateful of sandwiches: "I'll go find my hellren. He'll appreciate the break. He's been stuck behind that desk all night. Maybe I'll get him to relax for a while." Beth winked and practically purred leaving the kitchen. Yep, she would without a doubt find a way make Wrath forget his paper work.

Now JM stood up too. He held two beer bottles from their necks and gestured them at Shariel. " _Come on, let's have few beers_." Shariel followed JM out of the kitchen, they went through the library into the back garden. Moonlight was beautiful and they sat on the ground by the pool. " _You have something on your mind?_ "

Shariel took a long swig of the beer JM passed her before answering. How one was supposed to talk about these things? "I'm so fucking scared... and Khalen is being so fucking caring and nice... and now I've driven him away, again. Something happened and I got so scared, I was back in the alley...I treated Khalen like shit, like he was the one..."

_"We all have our pasts and that we just can't escape. It will haunt you from time to time, but it will get easier. Let Khalen help you._ "

"How I'm suppose to do that? I practically accused him of the same as the men in the alley..."

" _You've got to talk to him. Never apologize for what's happened to you, it was not your own doing. But maybe you should consider apologizing to Khalen. You're both feeling like shit for your own respective reasons. But you've got to talk, it's the only way to get through this without stupid misunderstandings destroying you._ "

Shariel turned her eyes to the pool:"I'm afraid I'm asking too much of him. He has waited for over a year now.., " Shariel blushed a bit, "and he's still waiting for me. It is not fair, when no one knows how long it'll take."

" _Shariel, look at me!_ When Shariel just stared at the beer bottle, JM nudged her shoulder. _Look at me. I'll bet that Khalen is honestly willing to wait until you are ready, for everything. That's what bonded males do, it's a one-lane street. Well-being of one's female... well, there's no higher priority, bonded males are nothing but single-minded when it comes to their mates._ "

Khalen was furious. He needed to punch someone, badly. Preferably himself too. How could he have been so stupid to let himself fall asleep. He had just wanted to be near the female and apparently he had wanted something else too, if the bulge behind his fly was anything to judge by. He wanted to kill the sympath all over again. Although the men were still roaming there somewhere, Khalen was pretty sure that they hadn't volunteered for the rape.  It was much more fun for the sympath to force them to do it, more fear and pain for him to consume. And he was angry at Shariel, how could she think that he'd ever force himself on her.  He definitely needed to cool off.

He went to his room and changed into his running gear. There were still few hours left  before the sunrise, enough time to go for a run in the woods.  He stepped outside, took a deep breath of the clean night air and set for the woods. After running the trails for over an hour, he returned to the mansion, not so angry anymore. Running gave him an excellent chance to think, thoughts roaming free at the pace of his feet. And now he had an idea. Back in his room he looked at his phone and there was a message from Shariel." _I'm sorry. We need to talk._ " Perfect. Khalen replied her:" _I know and I'm sorry too. We need to start fresh. Be ready at midnight, I'll pick you up. Love you._ " After one phone call, Khalen crawled into his bed. This had to work.

Shariel was frustrated when she stared at her suitcase. There wasn't much there; most of her clothing were at the Great Camp. It had sounded like a date, so jeans wouldn't do. Since that was all that she had, she went to knock on Nalla's room and told her about her Khalen's text and her wardrobe problem.

"I have this fifties kind of dress. It's black with some purple in it. It's beautiful . You can wear my black cardigan, so it won't reveal too much. It is curve hugging, but in a chaste, fifties way," Nalla laughed and went to rummage her wardrobe. After a moment she emerged with the dress and the cardigan. "Let me help you." Shariel undressed, leaving only her underwear on and Nalla helped her to the dress. "See, it fits quite well and when you wear this over it, " she threw Shariel the cardigan, "it's nothing but modest and casual."

 

Shariel looked at the mirror, her blond hair flowing on her shoulders. Maybe this would be good. She hugged Nalla: "Thank you." Nalla hugged her tight back: "You relax and have some fun tonight. Let Khalen court you properly." 

Khalen knocked on her door. Shariel couldn't hold back a gasp when she saw him. His long, thick hair was brushed over his wide shoulders. white button down had few top buttons open, showing the smooth, golden skin of the muscled chest. Khalen had rolled the sleeves, revealing sinewy and veined arms. Long legs were covered in jeans hanging low on his hips, black boots shiny. His eyes shone with resolution. He was ready to fight for what they had together. "Are you ready to go out with me?"

Shariel was speechless and then she nodded. She could feel Khalen's eyes roam over her and she was glad that she had gone to Nalla for the dress. It was decent, knee-high and though it had open cleavage, the cardigan hid it, leaving only the outline of the swell of her breasts visible.

They drove downtown and Khalen parked outside a small Italian restaurant. He rounded the car and opened the door to Shariel. The restaurant was empty apart from the waiter, who showed them to their table. Khalen helped Shariel to her chair and sat down opposite her. "This is for you, for us. I'm not ready to give up on us. I'm sorry for what happened, you must believe me that I would never, ever hurt you."

Shariel felt a lump in her throat:"I love you too. I'm sorry for what happened last night." Khalen reached over the table and took her hand in his:"We will get through this. We'll get to know each other again and take it as slow as you want to. We have time."

And they ordered wine and food, and they talked and talked. This was the first day of the rest of their lives, because they had decided so. They were just finishing their dessert when Khalen stood up and held his arm to Shariel:"May I?" Shariel looked perplexed but took his hand and stood up. Khalen led her to the dance floor and she gasped when she heard the song."How did you know?" Unchained Melody by Righteous Brothers was The Song, the song she wanted to dance to in her mating ceremony. She had decided that long ago. Khalen just smiled as he lead her to dance:"I have my sources." "Nalla, right?", Shariel asked but Khalen just smiled as he carefully drew her closer. She gave into the music and leaned on Khalen's shoulder.

When the song ended, Khalen traced her face with his fingers and looked at her with a question in his eyes. When Shariel nodded, he lifted her chin and lowered his lips to hers. This kiss was not about desire. It was about unconditional love and deep affection, without any demands or hidden agendas. Nobody knew what the future had in store for them, but they had each other. They had tonight and they had made a decision, a conscious one, to not give up. And maybe in time, the wounds would heal. They had hope, and that was all that mattered.

 


End file.
